Gifts

“There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands. You seek problems because you need their gifts.” ― Richard Bach, Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah  

 I've probably used this Bach quote more than any other. It's THAT important to the journey. And it goes directly to the one thing we often forget we have, but guides every single thing we do: choices.

On the first day after what can only be described as a hellish year, people around the plane are making choices. Becoming healthier, finding a new job, breaking out of bad relationships. All admirable goals, but we made choices that got us there as well. Even if the choice was to do nothing differently, it was still a choice. Often the easiest way to put ourselves in a situation we want to change is to simply not act.

I admit, I'm a pretty complacent person.My career choice exists around change, so I am not a fan of doing things that are not routine. It can get boring sometimes, but it's calming. Until I realize calm also becomes boring. Reaching the end of the internet every night, reading 250 books a year. Not much "achievement: unlocked" reward there. But until I decide to do something about it, I'll be in repeat mode.

And that has to change.

I think I'm back to writing more often, instead of just when my head gets too full. I need to spill my thoughts when I have them, not on some scheduled dump when I get angry or motivated. Okay, mostly when I get angry. And usually at my stupid self.

Thanks for continuing to drop tokens into this ride machine of a blog. I'll try and live up to expectation. And mine are higher than yours, so you get to watch me squirm when I make a bad choice. Or none at all. 

 

Random Quotes

In no particular order, some thoughts from Mr. Bach that have been on my mind.....

I'd explain further if I  had any idea where this is going. I had a LONG one-sided conversation with someone earlier where I admitted I often say "too much" but find my ramblings fall short of saying everything that should be said. Without actually saying the things that would possibly destroy that fragile bond we share....

• “I’m here not because I am supposed to be here, or because I’m trapped here, but because I’d rather be with you than anywhere else in the world.” 

• “Bad things are not the worst things that an happen to us. NOTHING is the worst thing that can happen to us.”  

• “The only thing that shatters dreams is compromise.” 

• “Argue for your limitations,  and quick enough,  they are yours”  

• “Every person, all the events in your life are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you.”  

 

 Anyhoo..... sometimes I just have to write things down. Those that read here often might have realized I don't always make sense. All I can say is: be glad you don't have to read what I don't share. You might be calling for the guys with the white coat with arms that cross in the back.

Somewhere, in the corners of my tiny mind, way in the back, there's something that just keeps throwing things out. Hoping something sticks. Someone somewhere needs to hear one of my random things. Something I write will make a difference. More often than I'd care to admit, I even learn something from myself.

“Listen to what you know instead of what you fear.”  Richard Bach  

Even when you're not even sure what you're afraid of.

Especially when you 've figured out what you're scared of.

Particularly when you've realized it's YOU that you're fearful of.


If I had stopped to listen once or twice
If I had closed my mouth and opened my eyes
If I had cooled my head and warmed my heart
I'd not be on this road tonight


James Taylor sang that for John Belushi's family and friends in March 1982. I don't think it was ever recorded in studio, and I only heard it that day. I didn't listen to it. 

There's a difference.

I hope you understand that already. It took me a while.  

No, not today. A long time ago. But then I forgot about it. 

And now, I remember again.

 

 

Solutions

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“Remember where you came from, where you're going, and why you created this mess you got yourself into in the first place.” ― Richard Bach, Illusions

We've all had moments of realization. When you think to yourself what a fine how-do-you-do you've gotten yourself into. Again.

We already know the answers to the questions, since we're the ones that thought them up. Usually in the middle of the night, and they keep us from sleeping. We toss and turn as possible outcomes scroll through our tired brains. Whatever we did that sent us searching, we've done it to ourselves.

Most of our problems that we seek answers to are created innocently enough: spending a little more than we should, having that extra drink, staying up too late, slacking at work. We should be smart enough to know better, but hey - still human. We do these things for crazy reasons, one of which is to show everyone that we're in charge. But then.... we're not. We let them slide: no biggie, we got this. Until we don't.

We know not to let them pile up. They're not dust bunnies under the spare bed. They're living, breathing issues that multiply exponentially. And they reproduce like real rabbits. And then.... we're drowning in fuzzy things that poop. A lot. Then, it's game on.

 We can't keep from creating our own nightmares. The potential for small things to go wrong is wide open. All we can do is mitigate the damage by handling them as they happen. Don't compound the damage by putting all your rabbits in one hutch, so to speak. That poop ain't gonna clean itself up.

Rewards




"There are grand rewards for those who pick the high hard roads, but those rewards are hidden by years.”      Richard Bach, One

You know that feeling: when you've busted your ass and still can't get ahead. When you've done all you think you can do, and come up short. When you're at the end of your rope, and it's still not good enough.

It's bullshit.

If you've learned anything from me (please say yes,) you know you're stronger than that. And smarter. You know we don't quit, ever. Even when people tell us we can't win. We hold our heads up, set our gaze on the prize, and keep moving.

That's why we wear out our shoes. Why we still have a flip phone. Why the last concert we went to was a decade ago.

None of that matters.

Having a safe home where your family plays Uno on Fridays nights matters. Watching your child exceed even their own expectations matters. Hearing a family friend tell someone what a great parent you are.

We may not have all the things we want exactly when we want them, but they show up when we need them. And it's never too late. Rewards delayed are sometimes the sweetest.

Obligation.


“The only obligation we have in any lifetime is to be true to ourselves."     Richard
Bach, Illusions.

I'd like to say my lengthy sabbatical has been because I was having the time of my life, and was so busy I hadn't the chance to blog. But that'd be bullshit. I thought it was because I was being lazy because I thought I was out of things to say, feeling like I was repeating myself. That's be bullshit as well. Truth is, I don't really have an answer, or even an excuse. I just.... stopped. Not sure why, I just... stopped.

Why am I starting again? Not sure about that either. Maybe to get my cousin Cindyloo and friend April to quit bugging me, but they aren't THAT aggravating. Mostly, I think, is I get a thought in my head, turn it  over and over a few times, and something pops out. And I reckon this one took a while. A really long while. But, here we go....

Obligation. The weight of the world, placed upon our shoulders, by..... ourselves. Nobody makes you do things.

You are free to say "no" when you really don't want to do something. There will be consequences, but you can.

You'll get fired for saying "no" too often at work. You'll be sleeping in the garage by saying "no" to the spouse enough times. You'll be walking if you don't agree with that bell telling you the car is almost out of gas.

You're not required to change your plans when a friend asks you to help them move: but if you miss the chance to rescue her from a bad situation, you'll feel responsible when you see the bruises . You don't have to take care of that sick relative: but you'll wish you'd done more when you stand at their graveside. You are free to turn down that date with someone you barely know: but you might wonder "what if" when you see their wedding announcement next year. You don't need to make time for lunch with an old friend far away, but you'll regret it forever when you're reading their obituary.

But oh, what  if you did....

For one thing, you wouldn't feel so shitty about all that stuff today. The line between obligation and regret is thin.

Welcome back inside my head, friends. It's dark and kinda scary sometimes, but everything good begins with that next step.

Obstacles

“Everything is exactly as it is for a reason. The crumb on your table is no mystical reminder of this morning's cookie, it is there because you have chosen not to remove it. No exceptions.”  ― Richard Bach, Illusions

What's in your way? Most likely, YOU. Things are exactly as they should be, according to the plans you've put in place. Not working out like you expected? Look in that mirror, you are in control of both right and wrong.

I like to think I never planned for my life as it is now. But in the back of my mind, I know I did. I never gave up my independence, so when I needed to stand on my own, I could. It's not always easy, but here I am. I never wanted any of it, but here it is. No, that's wrong. I wanted to be happy, and I am. No matter what happened to get me there.

The reasons we are happy (or sad) belong to us. We make our own choices. It may take some time for them to come around, so don't forget what you asked for. It's different for us all, happiness varies from person to person. But the road to it is paved the same for each: with pieces of those we love, shards of our past, and hope eternal.

The choice you made twenty years ago that just turned south? That was your doing. On the path to joy. Yet another reason to be ALL IN and make wise decisions. When that grand plan of yours works out, it may be when you least expect it and certainly don't deserve it. You let it play out all that time, and NOW you're surprised at what happened? Nothing mystical in that, you set the whole thing up.

Look carefully into your future, and be sure you want what you think you want.