Day 38. Chaos.
Ever have that feeling that the world is closing in on you, and you're not ready for it? Sometimes think that life has caught up with you, and you're running as fast as you can to stay ahead? Yeah, been there. Life does have a tendency to do just that. It borders on chaos more often than not, often without us realizing it. We are closer to the edge than we know, juggling unknown porcelain dishes. Chaos. It's a warning signal for disaster, alerting us to impending doom.
Years ago, I worked way too many hours. I did that to avoid the chaos that would overtake me if I didn't have enough money to pay the bills. I knew the insanity of spending so much time away from home didn't make sense, but the alarm in my head told me to keep it up to avoid the consequences. I paid a price for it, missing time with my family and friends. But the alternative was too difficult to choose otherwise.
Then there was the chaos at work. Also so busy, never quite enough time to complete everything that needed done so we could avoid the next crisis. There was a joke at my first aviation job that it was called Maintenance Chaos, not Maintenance Control. If we thought we had control, we were kidding ourselves. Not unlike regular life, if we think we're in control, just wait a few minutes and we see the truth.
We can only hope to keep all the porcelain in the air. We have many choices we can make: what bill to pay, what can wait, who we can go to for help. Or we can try and control the chaos alone. I don't recommend that course, it's much more difficult to juggle more than three things at once by yourself. The more people you have around you, the easier things are to manage.
Of course, we could try and avoid the chaos altogether. If you figure out how to do that successfully, please let me know. I've been looking for that solution all my life, and gotten pretty much nowhere with it. The best laid plans, etc.
Lesson Thirty Eight: Do you try and do "too much"? Are you sometimes overwhelmed with the things that seem to crop up at the very worst times? Think about how you can plan better, to ease the stress. Then realize you're probably going to cause yourself more stress trying to implement that plan.
692 to go...
Sunday, October 19, 2014
Saturday, October 18, 2014
Peace
Day 37. Peace.
When you mention peace, people usually think you're talking of ending wars and conflicts around the world. No more fighting, no more death, no more suffering. That happening is truly a fantasy, as the world is much too big and complex to ever do a Rodney King and just get along. I don't know God's plan, but I doubt He planned for that, knowing He made humans to be the things we are.
The peace we sometimes forget about, but most often seek, is our own. Relaxing completely, letting our true selves be exposed. Allowing ourselves to finally be who it is we mask from the world each day. No stress from trying to please others, no fear that we'll displease someone. We all have battles in our own lives, and we want nothing more than to end them.
I had battles as a child. In spite of the love I got from most of my family, there was one parent that ruined it all. If I remembered much of my life before I was ten, I would probably not be happy at the memories. I know the ones I have of the second ten weren't great, but the first ten were worse. I think I blocked a lot of them out, probably to protect myself. Never knowing when someone would fly off the handle and start swinging the first thing they grabbed. Afraid if anything got broken, sure that I'd be getting punished even if it was an accident. There was no peace in that part of my life.
The middle of my life, I found some peace there. Kids, friends, good times. Stress from never having enough money, but that came and went as situations changed. I put on a happy face, and it wasn't fake most of the time. I was still looking for a long run of peace, it being interrupted along the way.
Then the 90's showed up, I became a wife and had yet another person to please. My skin got rubbed raw sometimes, with the words of disappointment. But I just kept trying harder, and made it work. Twenty years or so later, there were still times when thing weren't good enough, I wasn't doing enough. But being ALL IN, there I was, still trying to hold it together. I don't know that I would've won the war Dave was often raging against the world that was mostly me, but I'm not a quitter.
“It's so hard to forget pain, but it's even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace.” - Chuck Palahniuk
I make an effort to put the bad times away, and remember the good. That war is never won.
Lesson Thirty Seven: Do you focus on bad times more than the good? Have you experienced so much negativity that you have a hard time celebrating success? Think about how you deal with dark times, and try to celebrate the light.
693 to go...
When you mention peace, people usually think you're talking of ending wars and conflicts around the world. No more fighting, no more death, no more suffering. That happening is truly a fantasy, as the world is much too big and complex to ever do a Rodney King and just get along. I don't know God's plan, but I doubt He planned for that, knowing He made humans to be the things we are.
The peace we sometimes forget about, but most often seek, is our own. Relaxing completely, letting our true selves be exposed. Allowing ourselves to finally be who it is we mask from the world each day. No stress from trying to please others, no fear that we'll displease someone. We all have battles in our own lives, and we want nothing more than to end them.
I had battles as a child. In spite of the love I got from most of my family, there was one parent that ruined it all. If I remembered much of my life before I was ten, I would probably not be happy at the memories. I know the ones I have of the second ten weren't great, but the first ten were worse. I think I blocked a lot of them out, probably to protect myself. Never knowing when someone would fly off the handle and start swinging the first thing they grabbed. Afraid if anything got broken, sure that I'd be getting punished even if it was an accident. There was no peace in that part of my life.
The middle of my life, I found some peace there. Kids, friends, good times. Stress from never having enough money, but that came and went as situations changed. I put on a happy face, and it wasn't fake most of the time. I was still looking for a long run of peace, it being interrupted along the way.
Then the 90's showed up, I became a wife and had yet another person to please. My skin got rubbed raw sometimes, with the words of disappointment. But I just kept trying harder, and made it work. Twenty years or so later, there were still times when thing weren't good enough, I wasn't doing enough. But being ALL IN, there I was, still trying to hold it together. I don't know that I would've won the war Dave was often raging against the world that was mostly me, but I'm not a quitter.
“It's so hard to forget pain, but it's even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace.” - Chuck Palahniuk
I make an effort to put the bad times away, and remember the good. That war is never won.
Lesson Thirty Seven: Do you focus on bad times more than the good? Have you experienced so much negativity that you have a hard time celebrating success? Think about how you deal with dark times, and try to celebrate the light.
693 to go...
Friday, October 17, 2014
Solitude
Day 36. Solitude.
I've realized that being by yourself doesn't mean you're lonely. When you have the companionship of friends and family, you don't have to have their physical presence to feel them with you. If the bond is strong enough, and you are (say it with me now) ALL IN, they can be miles away and you still feel the connection. Sometimes even if you've never met them in person.
I've talked about my online friends before, what a wide variety they are. I feel such a strong connection with them, it's crazy sometimes. I can joke around with my racing buddies about football team rivalries, and it's like we were sitting in a bar having a beer and laughing in person. I can tell that Blake really is kidding when he says he's cancelling his NC vacation because I got Belinda to harass him over the LSU/Miami game. And I can feel the love when she puts that little heart after all her posts on Facebook.
I try and learn things about all my friends, so I can feel closer to them. I like knowing a bit more about everyone: it's fun to post a Peanuts cartoon to Maureen's page, or a funny chicken picture for Amy. Then there's Beth and the goats, the other Beth and RTR (Roll Tide Toll for you non-Bama fans), and even the third Beth about Thor. Military pics for the guys that served, hockey discussions with my friend Bob over in Raleigh, and harassing Rusty about his lack of piloting skills. Oh yeah, and making Lori laugh when I say that Sydney Crosby is a bitch, LOL. It makes me feel closer to them when I know things that make them smile.
There's also the bond with someone you can tell everything to, online at least. I have a few people I can do that with, I feel I can talk about anything and everything and get the truth back from them. If I'm being crazy, they'll tell me. They'll rein me in, or tell me to go for it, whichever I need. There's a bit of freedom in talking online, you don't have to worry about them giving you weird looks. Or smacking you upside the head when you are being foolish.
While I'm active online, I'm usually home alone with the animals. The dogs doing their noisy dog stuff in the background, a cat trying to help type or catch the cursor on the screen. But I don't feel lonely. When Dave was still here, I sometimes felt lonelier than I do now. Because of his shoulder injury and his pain from that, he slept a lot or was grumpy. So even though we did things together like shopping or dinner out, we didn't sit and watch TV or eat dinner at home together. That was lonelier than being here by myself, if that makes sense.
It's actually kind of nice being here alone. I know I'm a people person, as anyone who knows me in real life can confirm. I love a good party, and contrary to the Capricorn traits I am NOT a wallflower. Not by a long shot. But I can relax without having to clean up after anyone else, without having to figure out what means to make for someone else, it's all for me. I think "lonely" is different than "lonesome." I do get lonesome. I miss having someone to cuddle on the couch with, someone that passes behind me in the kitchen and tugs my hair braid. Having someone to bake brownies for, since I don't need to eat the whole pan of them. Missing the little things, that's what "lonesome" means.
I hope I'm not lonesome forever, but I kinda like the solitude.
Lesson Thirty Six: Do you enjoy spending time by yourself or do you need to be around others to really enjoy things? Do you try and learn more about other people so that even when you're not together you can feel closer to them? Think about your relationships, and see if they can withstand time apart.
694 to go...
I've realized that being by yourself doesn't mean you're lonely. When you have the companionship of friends and family, you don't have to have their physical presence to feel them with you. If the bond is strong enough, and you are (say it with me now) ALL IN, they can be miles away and you still feel the connection. Sometimes even if you've never met them in person.
I've talked about my online friends before, what a wide variety they are. I feel such a strong connection with them, it's crazy sometimes. I can joke around with my racing buddies about football team rivalries, and it's like we were sitting in a bar having a beer and laughing in person. I can tell that Blake really is kidding when he says he's cancelling his NC vacation because I got Belinda to harass him over the LSU/Miami game. And I can feel the love when she puts that little heart after all her posts on Facebook.
I try and learn things about all my friends, so I can feel closer to them. I like knowing a bit more about everyone: it's fun to post a Peanuts cartoon to Maureen's page, or a funny chicken picture for Amy. Then there's Beth and the goats, the other Beth and RTR (Roll Tide Toll for you non-Bama fans), and even the third Beth about Thor. Military pics for the guys that served, hockey discussions with my friend Bob over in Raleigh, and harassing Rusty about his lack of piloting skills. Oh yeah, and making Lori laugh when I say that Sydney Crosby is a bitch, LOL. It makes me feel closer to them when I know things that make them smile.
There's also the bond with someone you can tell everything to, online at least. I have a few people I can do that with, I feel I can talk about anything and everything and get the truth back from them. If I'm being crazy, they'll tell me. They'll rein me in, or tell me to go for it, whichever I need. There's a bit of freedom in talking online, you don't have to worry about them giving you weird looks. Or smacking you upside the head when you are being foolish.
While I'm active online, I'm usually home alone with the animals. The dogs doing their noisy dog stuff in the background, a cat trying to help type or catch the cursor on the screen. But I don't feel lonely. When Dave was still here, I sometimes felt lonelier than I do now. Because of his shoulder injury and his pain from that, he slept a lot or was grumpy. So even though we did things together like shopping or dinner out, we didn't sit and watch TV or eat dinner at home together. That was lonelier than being here by myself, if that makes sense.
It's actually kind of nice being here alone. I know I'm a people person, as anyone who knows me in real life can confirm. I love a good party, and contrary to the Capricorn traits I am NOT a wallflower. Not by a long shot. But I can relax without having to clean up after anyone else, without having to figure out what means to make for someone else, it's all for me. I think "lonely" is different than "lonesome." I do get lonesome. I miss having someone to cuddle on the couch with, someone that passes behind me in the kitchen and tugs my hair braid. Having someone to bake brownies for, since I don't need to eat the whole pan of them. Missing the little things, that's what "lonesome" means.
I hope I'm not lonesome forever, but I kinda like the solitude.
Lesson Thirty Six: Do you enjoy spending time by yourself or do you need to be around others to really enjoy things? Do you try and learn more about other people so that even when you're not together you can feel closer to them? Think about your relationships, and see if they can withstand time apart.
694 to go...
Thursday, October 16, 2014
Fears
Day 35. Fears.
Let's go ahead and admit it: we all have fears. Some worse than others. Some people fear pain, death, loss of loved ones. Others fear spiders, the number 13, snakes and black cats.
With all the talk of economic collapse and OMG EBOLA!!! no wonder people seem more fearful in recent days. The few people I know that thought the goverment would always tell the truth and take care of us all should probably be panicking pretty hard by now. Those of us who have always known that to be a lie have alredy begun preparations to take care of ourselves.
Oil prices are in the tank, which is a good think. Cheap oil hurts Russia, which helps us. It keeps them weaker when they can't try and control the European market. The Bear was never dead, the Bear was just hybernating. And you can't make peace with a Bear, you can only hope to kill him before he kills you. Anyone who thinks otherwise is a fool. As prices stay low, and American oil production increases, it will only help stabilize our economy. Now if we can get the government to get off our backs and let the drilling and transportation of our own crude expand. As well as fracking. Cheap energy is good for everyone.
The banking system is pretty much screwed. Mason jars in the backyard doesn't look like a bad option at this point. The stress tests the Federal Reserve runs only proves what we know: the banks don't have the money to cover deposits. So one day, when TSHTF and everyone wants their cash, you better hope to be first in line. Unless you think that pen on a chain is a good trade for your saving account.
Disease prevention: it's up to you. Just like always. Any false security you have that anyone else gives a flip if you live or die should have gone up in smokoe years ago. The Federal government can't buy a clue about what to do, they are making up protocols as they go along. At this point we'd be better off just avoiding crowds and washing our hands a lot. But what do I know, I've never even had the flu.
I can't help you with the spiders, 13, or black cats. But I do say THE ONLY GOOD SNAKE IS A DEAD SNAKE, if that helps with them.
My only real take on fear comes from Frank Herbert. The Bene Gesserit litany is good advice, if only to help focus your thoughts and keep you calm.
I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
Lesson Thirty Five: Do you let fear control your actions? Do you find yourself surrendering to fear and letting the unknown make your decisions? Think about how you can control the things around you, and not let the panic drive you to make poor choices.
695 to go...
Let's go ahead and admit it: we all have fears. Some worse than others. Some people fear pain, death, loss of loved ones. Others fear spiders, the number 13, snakes and black cats.
With all the talk of economic collapse and OMG EBOLA!!! no wonder people seem more fearful in recent days. The few people I know that thought the goverment would always tell the truth and take care of us all should probably be panicking pretty hard by now. Those of us who have always known that to be a lie have alredy begun preparations to take care of ourselves.
Oil prices are in the tank, which is a good think. Cheap oil hurts Russia, which helps us. It keeps them weaker when they can't try and control the European market. The Bear was never dead, the Bear was just hybernating. And you can't make peace with a Bear, you can only hope to kill him before he kills you. Anyone who thinks otherwise is a fool. As prices stay low, and American oil production increases, it will only help stabilize our economy. Now if we can get the government to get off our backs and let the drilling and transportation of our own crude expand. As well as fracking. Cheap energy is good for everyone.
The banking system is pretty much screwed. Mason jars in the backyard doesn't look like a bad option at this point. The stress tests the Federal Reserve runs only proves what we know: the banks don't have the money to cover deposits. So one day, when TSHTF and everyone wants their cash, you better hope to be first in line. Unless you think that pen on a chain is a good trade for your saving account.
Disease prevention: it's up to you. Just like always. Any false security you have that anyone else gives a flip if you live or die should have gone up in smokoe years ago. The Federal government can't buy a clue about what to do, they are making up protocols as they go along. At this point we'd be better off just avoiding crowds and washing our hands a lot. But what do I know, I've never even had the flu.
I can't help you with the spiders, 13, or black cats. But I do say THE ONLY GOOD SNAKE IS A DEAD SNAKE, if that helps with them.
My only real take on fear comes from Frank Herbert. The Bene Gesserit litany is good advice, if only to help focus your thoughts and keep you calm.
I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
Lesson Thirty Five: Do you let fear control your actions? Do you find yourself surrendering to fear and letting the unknown make your decisions? Think about how you can control the things around you, and not let the panic drive you to make poor choices.
695 to go...
Wednesday, October 15, 2014
Whispers
Day 34. Whispers.
Going back to a blog post from last week again, about the young woman who moved to Oregon to take advantage of their assisted-suicide laws. I read an awesome article on a blog last night about someone else's take on the situation (basically the same as mine) and a comment there stood out to me.
God whispers. Most of us make too much noise to hear those whispers, let alone see the miracles all around us.
That's a powerful statement.
Most of the time, we're so busy with everything around us that we don't take time to listen to those we surround ourselves with, much less take time to listen to God. We are busy with our smartphones, our HDTV, running the kids to soccer practice. We are busy rushing to catch the train to get to work, speeding down the highway to get to the store. There's always noise to keep us from hearing what's important. Noise that distracts us.
We get so busy living life that we forget to enjoy it. We get caught up in the hustle and bustle, we don't hear the people we love crying out for us. Their whispers eventually turn to shouts, and sometimes even then we don't hear them. If we can't hear the people we've chosen to spend our lives with, how can God ever expect us to hear Him?
I know I've been guilty of not listening. I talked once before about the discussion with my daughter about saying "I didn't care" too often. That was an example of me not listening. I was doing other stuff like cooking, watching television, etc. to really hear her question, so I gave that stupid answer which made her think I didn't care about her. I know I blocked out times when Dave would be moaning about things that I really didn't want to discuss. I know there are still times I'd rather not think about some things. Avoidance isn't a good plan for dealing with life, by the way.
I've tried to do better when I finally did realize it was God talking to me. I guess the times He was whispering and I wasn't listening made Him shout at me. He shouted at me twice now in my adult life, and I can tell you I am listening closely for His whispers now.
If we don't hear God's whispers, we miss out on extraordinary things. He whispers to us at the end of the day: "Look to the West, look at that sunset I made for you." He whispers to us each morning: "Awake, my Child, to the glory of this new day." He speaks to us as we hear children playing in the park, when we listen birds singing, and as we hear someone say "I love you." These are the little miracles we'll not witness if we aren't listening.
Lesson Thirty Four: Do you tune out the things you really aren't interested in dealing with at the moment? Do you take time to look around you and see beauty in the ordinary? Think about things you might be missing if you're not listening.
696 to go...
Going back to a blog post from last week again, about the young woman who moved to Oregon to take advantage of their assisted-suicide laws. I read an awesome article on a blog last night about someone else's take on the situation (basically the same as mine) and a comment there stood out to me.
God whispers. Most of us make too much noise to hear those whispers, let alone see the miracles all around us.
That's a powerful statement.
Most of the time, we're so busy with everything around us that we don't take time to listen to those we surround ourselves with, much less take time to listen to God. We are busy with our smartphones, our HDTV, running the kids to soccer practice. We are busy rushing to catch the train to get to work, speeding down the highway to get to the store. There's always noise to keep us from hearing what's important. Noise that distracts us.
We get so busy living life that we forget to enjoy it. We get caught up in the hustle and bustle, we don't hear the people we love crying out for us. Their whispers eventually turn to shouts, and sometimes even then we don't hear them. If we can't hear the people we've chosen to spend our lives with, how can God ever expect us to hear Him?
I know I've been guilty of not listening. I talked once before about the discussion with my daughter about saying "I didn't care" too often. That was an example of me not listening. I was doing other stuff like cooking, watching television, etc. to really hear her question, so I gave that stupid answer which made her think I didn't care about her. I know I blocked out times when Dave would be moaning about things that I really didn't want to discuss. I know there are still times I'd rather not think about some things. Avoidance isn't a good plan for dealing with life, by the way.
I've tried to do better when I finally did realize it was God talking to me. I guess the times He was whispering and I wasn't listening made Him shout at me. He shouted at me twice now in my adult life, and I can tell you I am listening closely for His whispers now.
If we don't hear God's whispers, we miss out on extraordinary things. He whispers to us at the end of the day: "Look to the West, look at that sunset I made for you." He whispers to us each morning: "Awake, my Child, to the glory of this new day." He speaks to us as we hear children playing in the park, when we listen birds singing, and as we hear someone say "I love you." These are the little miracles we'll not witness if we aren't listening.
Lesson Thirty Four: Do you tune out the things you really aren't interested in dealing with at the moment? Do you take time to look around you and see beauty in the ordinary? Think about things you might be missing if you're not listening.
696 to go...
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
Redemption
Day 33. Redemption.
I didn't really have a plan for today's post until early this morning. I normally write at night, but couldn't find two thoughts to put together for some reason. After sleeping well, I think I might have something.
Usually when we think of redemption, it's in a religious context. Having made the changes necessary to save our souls. Confessing our sins and making atonement. Me being different than most people I know, I think of personal redemption with the people we care about most. The people we usually hurt the most.
Humans fail. Sometimes we fail each other, sometimes ourselves. Usually we're aware of our failures, as most people don't have a problem pointing out the mistakes of others. I've always tried my best to give praise when possible, because I know I don't mind letting someone know when they've failed me. I wasn't always that way: I covered up a lot of bad feelings when I was disappointed in the past, and it got me exactly nowhere.
Honesty is the only way we can deal with one another. I tend to be brutally honest, to the point of being mean sometimes. I just don't think we do anyone any favors by sugarcoating things. Especially when we're not going to get over them easily. I've learned how to be a little gentler in the past few years, maybe I'm mellowing in my old age. Or I've realized that I'd like someone to be gentler with me when I fail them.
As we learn about the people in our lives, we find out the things they expect of us. They don't always tell us, we often have to figure them out for ourselves. Which is why we fail. Those unspoken expectations, the unreachable ones: that's why people get disappointed in each other. If only we'd just say "I really wish you wouldn't leave your dirty socks in the floor,", instead of getting angry about it over and over. It could be that simple.
I have expectations of myself as well. I demand certain things, and I'm usually disappointed in myself more often as I am disappointed in other people. I know what I'm capable of, and need to kick my own butt quite often. But sometimes, I come through. I redeem myself and find the courage to go on another day. Another week. Another month.
I'm hoping these writings meet your expectations. I hope I've redeemed myself if I've failed you. If not, I hope you let me know so I can work on it.
Lesson Thirty Three: Do you let people know what you expect of them? Do they know they did a good job, or do you only acknowledge failures? Do you sometimes give up before you start something, believing you will fail? Think about the people you may have disappointed, and work to make things better. Realize you may have failed them by not letting them know you were disappointed.
697 to go...
I didn't really have a plan for today's post until early this morning. I normally write at night, but couldn't find two thoughts to put together for some reason. After sleeping well, I think I might have something.
Usually when we think of redemption, it's in a religious context. Having made the changes necessary to save our souls. Confessing our sins and making atonement. Me being different than most people I know, I think of personal redemption with the people we care about most. The people we usually hurt the most.
Humans fail. Sometimes we fail each other, sometimes ourselves. Usually we're aware of our failures, as most people don't have a problem pointing out the mistakes of others. I've always tried my best to give praise when possible, because I know I don't mind letting someone know when they've failed me. I wasn't always that way: I covered up a lot of bad feelings when I was disappointed in the past, and it got me exactly nowhere.
Honesty is the only way we can deal with one another. I tend to be brutally honest, to the point of being mean sometimes. I just don't think we do anyone any favors by sugarcoating things. Especially when we're not going to get over them easily. I've learned how to be a little gentler in the past few years, maybe I'm mellowing in my old age. Or I've realized that I'd like someone to be gentler with me when I fail them.
As we learn about the people in our lives, we find out the things they expect of us. They don't always tell us, we often have to figure them out for ourselves. Which is why we fail. Those unspoken expectations, the unreachable ones: that's why people get disappointed in each other. If only we'd just say "I really wish you wouldn't leave your dirty socks in the floor,", instead of getting angry about it over and over. It could be that simple.
I have expectations of myself as well. I demand certain things, and I'm usually disappointed in myself more often as I am disappointed in other people. I know what I'm capable of, and need to kick my own butt quite often. But sometimes, I come through. I redeem myself and find the courage to go on another day. Another week. Another month.
I'm hoping these writings meet your expectations. I hope I've redeemed myself if I've failed you. If not, I hope you let me know so I can work on it.
Lesson Thirty Three: Do you let people know what you expect of them? Do they know they did a good job, or do you only acknowledge failures? Do you sometimes give up before you start something, believing you will fail? Think about the people you may have disappointed, and work to make things better. Realize you may have failed them by not letting them know you were disappointed.
697 to go...
Monday, October 13, 2014
Promises
Day 32. Promises.
Yay, first full month of blogging is in the books! We made it! Thanks for sticking with me. Hopefully my ramblings are making a bit of sense, I know some people have commented on Facebook that I've at least gotten them thinking, so that's a good thing. Lessons begin by thinking for yourself, about the things you sometimes rather wouldn't think about at all. I promised myself I'd keep writing until I ran out of things to say, hopefully the two year goal I set up will be enough. The more I write, the more I find I need to say.
Promises are hard things. Hard to make, hard to break, hard to live up to. Sometimes we make promises in the spur of the moment, sometimes we make them out of unspoken obligations we feel to others.
A spur of the moment promise might be something we tell our kids we'll do: "I promise we'll go to the zoo next weekend." Really a small thing to an adult, but kids take promises to heart. Forget about that zoo trip, and you'll hear about it for weeks. You'll hear about it so much you'll beg them to go to the zoo with you so they'll shut up about it.
A promise of unspoken obligation? That's another story. Sometimes we promise a loved one that we'll take care of them, or of the rest of the family, when there's an illness. Even if the loved one never asks, we sometimes feel its our duty as children or eldest sibling to make sure they are cared for properly. Making sure they are comfortable at their home, or in ours, or in the best facility possible, as a very last resort. We feel we must take care of our own, right? That's a bold promise, and not one easily kept.
Often it's more than they would ever ask of us, but we still feel compelled to do it. We feel that unspoken obligation as if it were words from God himself. I've seen people go to the end of the earth to make sure they've done everything they could, and sometimes still don't think its enough, even when they've run themselves and their own family ragged. I don't believe our loved ones would hold us to such promises, especially when we never usually make them aloud. Breaking a promise made to someone in your own mind doesn't make you a bad person. As long as you do your best, that's all anyone ever asks of us.
I'm not saying that we should go around breaking promises. I really don't believe we should make so many of them. Save them for big things that are doable, not little things that you might get too busy for, or big things that are all but impossible. Biting off more than we can chew and then failing doesn't help anyone. Never let your mouth or mind make a promise that your butt can't keep.
Remember I've talked about my song that was recorded as a demo years ago? It's about promises. One of the parts goes like this:
A promise is made that we can't keep,
The river of lies, it runs too deep.
He told me once that time stands still,
Til he comes back, it probably will.
Lesson Thirty Two: Do you find yourself apologizing for breaking promises, maybe ones you shouldn't have made in the first place? Have you got a broken promise someone made to you that stands in the way of your relationship? Think about promises made, promises kept, and see if you can find where that fine line falls.
698 to go..
Yay, first full month of blogging is in the books! We made it! Thanks for sticking with me. Hopefully my ramblings are making a bit of sense, I know some people have commented on Facebook that I've at least gotten them thinking, so that's a good thing. Lessons begin by thinking for yourself, about the things you sometimes rather wouldn't think about at all. I promised myself I'd keep writing until I ran out of things to say, hopefully the two year goal I set up will be enough. The more I write, the more I find I need to say.
Promises are hard things. Hard to make, hard to break, hard to live up to. Sometimes we make promises in the spur of the moment, sometimes we make them out of unspoken obligations we feel to others.
A spur of the moment promise might be something we tell our kids we'll do: "I promise we'll go to the zoo next weekend." Really a small thing to an adult, but kids take promises to heart. Forget about that zoo trip, and you'll hear about it for weeks. You'll hear about it so much you'll beg them to go to the zoo with you so they'll shut up about it.
A promise of unspoken obligation? That's another story. Sometimes we promise a loved one that we'll take care of them, or of the rest of the family, when there's an illness. Even if the loved one never asks, we sometimes feel its our duty as children or eldest sibling to make sure they are cared for properly. Making sure they are comfortable at their home, or in ours, or in the best facility possible, as a very last resort. We feel we must take care of our own, right? That's a bold promise, and not one easily kept.
Often it's more than they would ever ask of us, but we still feel compelled to do it. We feel that unspoken obligation as if it were words from God himself. I've seen people go to the end of the earth to make sure they've done everything they could, and sometimes still don't think its enough, even when they've run themselves and their own family ragged. I don't believe our loved ones would hold us to such promises, especially when we never usually make them aloud. Breaking a promise made to someone in your own mind doesn't make you a bad person. As long as you do your best, that's all anyone ever asks of us.
I'm not saying that we should go around breaking promises. I really don't believe we should make so many of them. Save them for big things that are doable, not little things that you might get too busy for, or big things that are all but impossible. Biting off more than we can chew and then failing doesn't help anyone. Never let your mouth or mind make a promise that your butt can't keep.
Remember I've talked about my song that was recorded as a demo years ago? It's about promises. One of the parts goes like this:
A promise is made that we can't keep,
The river of lies, it runs too deep.
He told me once that time stands still,
Til he comes back, it probably will.
Lesson Thirty Two: Do you find yourself apologizing for breaking promises, maybe ones you shouldn't have made in the first place? Have you got a broken promise someone made to you that stands in the way of your relationship? Think about promises made, promises kept, and see if you can find where that fine line falls.
698 to go..
Sunday, October 12, 2014
ALL IN
Day 31. ALL IN.
Yes, those two words again. Worth repeating, often and with feeling. Like a good song, you can't hear them enough.
There are many pieces to life. It's hard work being ALL IN thirty different things as once. We sometimes have to prioritize what's important to us, shuffle things around, work a little harder, but we do it. There are things that need more hands on, more effort, but they're worth it. Friendships, love, those are the most important.
I've got a fair amount of friends. I don't count acquaintances, people I know but don't really interact with daily. I've got high school friends from 30+ years ago, work friends from the last 25 years, internet friends I''ve met, all people I know in the physical world. I also have a large number of virtual friends. A large number are like-minded politically, some share my love of racing and animals. Some people cross into several groups. I can't say I'm not as close to some of the virtual friends as I am the physical ones.
Virtual friends is sometimes easier. You don't have to feel the same hurt when they say or do something upsetting, since you won't be actually seeing them while you're upset. You can run the risk of saying something to them that you might not say in real life, since you don't have any "skin in the game" and won't be running into them at the grocery store and having a weird moment. I really try not to treat them any different, but it does happen. I know I feel more strongly about some things in the physical world that might upset me more but I would never say them. I don't need the drama or pain, it's not worth the risk. Life goes on.
Some people take friendships differently. They walk a tightrope: making sure not to offend anyone, keeping their discussions away from controversial topics, hiding their true selves because they don't want to upset things. Sometimes they figure out people aren't worth hiding yourself from. Remember that talk about walls protecting but also isolating you from a week or so ago? True with friendships as well. You can pick and choose them, people come and go in and out of our lives. We control that too, if you remember the lesson from a few weeks ago. It's up to us who we are ALL IN with, and who we cut loose.
It's the same with love. Sometimes we think we've found "the one" we can't live without. That can happen, but sometimes we're just breaking the eggs before we get to make the omelet. Sometimes years are spent with "the one" that really wasn't, and we eventually wake up to see we need to move on. If we're lucky, we find the real "one" sooner rather than later. Because time is short, we have to keep our eyes and our hearts open. We have to be ready to accept it when it comes along, and allow ourselves to be ALL IN again.
I've watched a young woman learn that lesson. I saw her finish high school, go on to college, find her first relationship. As she grew into an adult, she also outgrew that relationship. As good as it might've once been, it became lukewarm. And everyone knows you can't make anything with lukewarm. It has to be hot, glowing red, "en fuego" if it's going to last. Lukewarm grows cold way too soon, and nobody likes cold. I watched my young friend find new love. New love that was exciting, fun, interesting, ON FIRE. There she was again, ALL IN. And guess what? He's "the one". And Saturday, he asked her to marry him.
Of course, she said yes. Because she's ALL IN. And he is, too.
Congratulations, Kayce and Nathan. You've taken the first step in your life together. Don't ever take each other for granted, don't ever stop saying "I love you," and never be less than ALL IN.
Lesson Thirty One: Do you value some friendships above others? Does it hurt differently when real world and virtual friends do things that bother you, or do you let them both go easily? Think about what's important to you, what makes you be ALL IN with the people in your life, and don't ever hang onto anything that's not good for you.
699 to go...
Yes, those two words again. Worth repeating, often and with feeling. Like a good song, you can't hear them enough.
There are many pieces to life. It's hard work being ALL IN thirty different things as once. We sometimes have to prioritize what's important to us, shuffle things around, work a little harder, but we do it. There are things that need more hands on, more effort, but they're worth it. Friendships, love, those are the most important.
I've got a fair amount of friends. I don't count acquaintances, people I know but don't really interact with daily. I've got high school friends from 30+ years ago, work friends from the last 25 years, internet friends I''ve met, all people I know in the physical world. I also have a large number of virtual friends. A large number are like-minded politically, some share my love of racing and animals. Some people cross into several groups. I can't say I'm not as close to some of the virtual friends as I am the physical ones.
Virtual friends is sometimes easier. You don't have to feel the same hurt when they say or do something upsetting, since you won't be actually seeing them while you're upset. You can run the risk of saying something to them that you might not say in real life, since you don't have any "skin in the game" and won't be running into them at the grocery store and having a weird moment. I really try not to treat them any different, but it does happen. I know I feel more strongly about some things in the physical world that might upset me more but I would never say them. I don't need the drama or pain, it's not worth the risk. Life goes on.
Some people take friendships differently. They walk a tightrope: making sure not to offend anyone, keeping their discussions away from controversial topics, hiding their true selves because they don't want to upset things. Sometimes they figure out people aren't worth hiding yourself from. Remember that talk about walls protecting but also isolating you from a week or so ago? True with friendships as well. You can pick and choose them, people come and go in and out of our lives. We control that too, if you remember the lesson from a few weeks ago. It's up to us who we are ALL IN with, and who we cut loose.
It's the same with love. Sometimes we think we've found "the one" we can't live without. That can happen, but sometimes we're just breaking the eggs before we get to make the omelet. Sometimes years are spent with "the one" that really wasn't, and we eventually wake up to see we need to move on. If we're lucky, we find the real "one" sooner rather than later. Because time is short, we have to keep our eyes and our hearts open. We have to be ready to accept it when it comes along, and allow ourselves to be ALL IN again.
I've watched a young woman learn that lesson. I saw her finish high school, go on to college, find her first relationship. As she grew into an adult, she also outgrew that relationship. As good as it might've once been, it became lukewarm. And everyone knows you can't make anything with lukewarm. It has to be hot, glowing red, "en fuego" if it's going to last. Lukewarm grows cold way too soon, and nobody likes cold. I watched my young friend find new love. New love that was exciting, fun, interesting, ON FIRE. There she was again, ALL IN. And guess what? He's "the one". And Saturday, he asked her to marry him.
Of course, she said yes. Because she's ALL IN. And he is, too.
Congratulations, Kayce and Nathan. You've taken the first step in your life together. Don't ever take each other for granted, don't ever stop saying "I love you," and never be less than ALL IN.
Lesson Thirty One: Do you value some friendships above others? Does it hurt differently when real world and virtual friends do things that bother you, or do you let them both go easily? Think about what's important to you, what makes you be ALL IN with the people in your life, and don't ever hang onto anything that's not good for you.
699 to go...
Saturday, October 11, 2014
Faith
Day 30. Faith.
This week, we've talked about some emotional subjects. Broken families, seeming beyond repair. Devastating illness, hopeless outcome. The one thing they have in common: Faith. If you have none, you resign yourself to what happens in your life. If you have a little, you pray that things will improve. If you have lots, you know God is in control and the outcome is in His hands. All three require you to consider Faith.
I never quite understood people who say they are atheists, non-believers. I think it's arrogant to believe that we humans just happen to become the sentient beings we are today by pure luck. I can't imagine living without the knowledge that someone greater than me is looking out for His creation. The security in times of fear, the comfort in His house, the energy He provides when thins seem their darkest. What hollowness must one feel who does not believe, for surely they know the meaning of "alone."
I've tried to learn about religions other than Christianity. I've got Jewish friends, Mormon friends, Muslim friends. All of us share that common believe in a supreme being, even with different names for Him. We all believe that our sins can be forgiven, and He will accept us into His everlasting kingdom. That knowledge is a source of comfort for billions around the world. It can also be a source of violence and hate, which is surely not His intention. Those are perversions of His message, which is one of love, tolerance, and forgiveness.
A story was told at Kathie's memorial service, by a minister who never met her. I've told it before to some, but I think it's important enough to hear again. It's a message of hope, for those with faith and those without.
A beloved man lay on his deathbed, surrounded by his family. A wife, two daughters and a son. He spoke to them one last time. "Good night, wife. Good night, eldest daughter. Good night, son. Goodbye, youngest daughter."
"Daddy, wait!" the youngest cried out. "Why did you tell them Good Night and tell me Goodbye? Why, Daddy?"
"Daughter, I will see the three of them someday. They have given their hearts to Christ and we will be reunited in Heaven. So this is just Good Night. You haven't found Jesus, and without accepting him as your Savior, we won't see each other again. So this is Goodbye."
I believe in my heart that we all have the chance to join our loved ones again in Heaven. It's what gets me though some of my worst days. That light of hope beckons me to stay strong until it's my turn. That's called Faith. I wish nothing less for all of you.
Lesson Thirty: Think about your life, your loved ones. Will you say Good Night, or Goodbye?
700 to go...
This week, we've talked about some emotional subjects. Broken families, seeming beyond repair. Devastating illness, hopeless outcome. The one thing they have in common: Faith. If you have none, you resign yourself to what happens in your life. If you have a little, you pray that things will improve. If you have lots, you know God is in control and the outcome is in His hands. All three require you to consider Faith.
I never quite understood people who say they are atheists, non-believers. I think it's arrogant to believe that we humans just happen to become the sentient beings we are today by pure luck. I can't imagine living without the knowledge that someone greater than me is looking out for His creation. The security in times of fear, the comfort in His house, the energy He provides when thins seem their darkest. What hollowness must one feel who does not believe, for surely they know the meaning of "alone."
I've tried to learn about religions other than Christianity. I've got Jewish friends, Mormon friends, Muslim friends. All of us share that common believe in a supreme being, even with different names for Him. We all believe that our sins can be forgiven, and He will accept us into His everlasting kingdom. That knowledge is a source of comfort for billions around the world. It can also be a source of violence and hate, which is surely not His intention. Those are perversions of His message, which is one of love, tolerance, and forgiveness.
A story was told at Kathie's memorial service, by a minister who never met her. I've told it before to some, but I think it's important enough to hear again. It's a message of hope, for those with faith and those without.
A beloved man lay on his deathbed, surrounded by his family. A wife, two daughters and a son. He spoke to them one last time. "Good night, wife. Good night, eldest daughter. Good night, son. Goodbye, youngest daughter."
"Daddy, wait!" the youngest cried out. "Why did you tell them Good Night and tell me Goodbye? Why, Daddy?"
"Daughter, I will see the three of them someday. They have given their hearts to Christ and we will be reunited in Heaven. So this is just Good Night. You haven't found Jesus, and without accepting him as your Savior, we won't see each other again. So this is Goodbye."
I believe in my heart that we all have the chance to join our loved ones again in Heaven. It's what gets me though some of my worst days. That light of hope beckons me to stay strong until it's my turn. That's called Faith. I wish nothing less for all of you.
Lesson Thirty: Think about your life, your loved ones. Will you say Good Night, or Goodbye?
700 to go...
Friday, October 10, 2014
More
Day 29: More.
I've thought about yesterday's post on Grace a lot today. I questioned myself. I wondered if I was too harsh. After all, it's her life. Who am I to question her decision? As I turned that over and over in my mind, I realized there's a reason I was fighting so hard in my argument for life. Because there's always more.
Giving up when things are rotten is almost a coward's way out. I hesitate to call someone a coward that I don't know personally, but for me I think it would be a chicken move. Life is short enough as it is, why would anyone give up early? I try to remember that God has that planned as well, and that there's some lesson for us to learn. I'm hoping I've figured it out.
I think the lesson might be to teach us that we shouldn't do the same thing. We shouldn't give up when the going gets rough. When faced with challenges that seem greater than we can meet, we are supposed to pick ourselves up, put on our big girl panties, and keep fighting. Brain cancer that will debilitate us in months? We should get out of bed, put some makeup on, and go shopping for something to make us happy. It's not denial, it's just moving on with our lives. Divorce? Let's get our drink and our dancing shoes on, and make new connections.
There are things in life that you can never truly recover from: I've had two. The loss of a child, and a spouse. But I didn't stop living. I still have another child, and if I found one person that could tolerate me for twenty years, I might can find another. I didn't stop loving my son, and I've got love to give another man. I guess? I really don't know where that road leads, but I'm hoping to have some fun along the way to whatever the end of that path might be.
I think another lesson God is teaching us (well, me at least) is that we can't sit quietly in the corner and accept what is happening to us. I believe I have found my voice again, writing this blog. I feel empowered when I can discuss my take on things, and hopeful that people reading my words feel it, too. I don't want to be the person that just gives up on life, I want to be the example of how to get on with life. Because there's more. More happiness, more good times, more love. It's right there, we just have to reach for it.
Lesson Twenty Nine: Do you recover well from bad events in your own life? Do you believe you have the power to go on, with the help of friends, family and God? Is there something that has stood in your way for too long that you just can't get past? Think about how you can improve your life by standing tall and fighting for another day. Fighting for more.
701 to go...
I've thought about yesterday's post on Grace a lot today. I questioned myself. I wondered if I was too harsh. After all, it's her life. Who am I to question her decision? As I turned that over and over in my mind, I realized there's a reason I was fighting so hard in my argument for life. Because there's always more.
Giving up when things are rotten is almost a coward's way out. I hesitate to call someone a coward that I don't know personally, but for me I think it would be a chicken move. Life is short enough as it is, why would anyone give up early? I try to remember that God has that planned as well, and that there's some lesson for us to learn. I'm hoping I've figured it out.
I think the lesson might be to teach us that we shouldn't do the same thing. We shouldn't give up when the going gets rough. When faced with challenges that seem greater than we can meet, we are supposed to pick ourselves up, put on our big girl panties, and keep fighting. Brain cancer that will debilitate us in months? We should get out of bed, put some makeup on, and go shopping for something to make us happy. It's not denial, it's just moving on with our lives. Divorce? Let's get our drink and our dancing shoes on, and make new connections.
There are things in life that you can never truly recover from: I've had two. The loss of a child, and a spouse. But I didn't stop living. I still have another child, and if I found one person that could tolerate me for twenty years, I might can find another. I didn't stop loving my son, and I've got love to give another man. I guess? I really don't know where that road leads, but I'm hoping to have some fun along the way to whatever the end of that path might be.
I think another lesson God is teaching us (well, me at least) is that we can't sit quietly in the corner and accept what is happening to us. I believe I have found my voice again, writing this blog. I feel empowered when I can discuss my take on things, and hopeful that people reading my words feel it, too. I don't want to be the person that just gives up on life, I want to be the example of how to get on with life. Because there's more. More happiness, more good times, more love. It's right there, we just have to reach for it.
Lesson Twenty Nine: Do you recover well from bad events in your own life? Do you believe you have the power to go on, with the help of friends, family and God? Is there something that has stood in your way for too long that you just can't get past? Think about how you can improve your life by standing tall and fighting for another day. Fighting for more.
701 to go...
Thursday, October 9, 2014
Grace
Day 28. Grace...
I've been watching the news about the young woman in Oregon with brain cancer that intends to use their State law allowing for medically-assisted suicide. Two days after her husband's birthday, in just a few weeks. I'm sure he's thrilled she's giving him that last birthday together. Not really, I'm being sarcastic. And she's being selfish.
Glenn Beck talked about this on his radio show Wednesday. I totally agree with him. This young woman shouldn't be heralded as some sort of hero for her brave sacrifice. She's giving up. I hate a quitter.
Life throws all kinds of things at us. Good and bad. We are meant to deal with them all. We aren't supposed to just chicken out, in fear of how awful or painful things may become. God doesn't have any surprises: He knows exactly what you will face from the moment you are conceived. He doesn't just sit in Heaven and toss out punishments to see how you'll do. This chick in Oregon, she gets a big FAIL.
There are lessons to be learned from everything we go through. I'm writing this blog as a way to try and teach others about how I've applied the lessons I've been given. I know I'll have more lessons to learn, and there may be bad ones among those as well. I've had plenty, but I can't just yell "ENOUGH, I QUIT" and expect God to just say "awww, I'm gonna cut her a break now." That's not how this works.
We play the hands that are dealt us. Nobody said this was a 50/50 game, with good and bad being equal. If you're going through life expecting it to be fair, you'll be sorely disappointed. It's not like that. It might be, but it's not guaranteed. We celebrate glorious highs, and what seem like bottomless lows. But the human spirit isn't designed to just quit. We are fighters. Ever seen those pictures of babies in the womb reaching out their arms? Even watched someone struggle to take one last breath? We don't quit.
This woman in Oregon wrote an article for CNN titled "My Right to Die with Dignity." Please. Your rights are given to you by God. So was your brain cancer. He meant for you to learn something from having it. You're cheating yourself, and others who might learn from it. What if during this process you were meant to find something far more important? Maybe the doctors working on your case were going to discover a cure for some other cancer? But then again, God knows you are weak and won't see this through to the end. He knows all.
A repeat, from Illusions: There is no such thing as a problem without a gift in its hands.
The greatest gift He gives us is Grace. The Grace to accept the other gifts. It's a shame this woman doesn't realize the gift He's offering her. Her story could be so inspiring, but for me it's depressing and weak. I don't think I could stand by her side and watch her throw the future away. There's so much to be learned, even from a miserable situation.
Lesson Twenty Eight: Do you believe we should just give up when things get rough? How do you feel about assisted suicide, when the outcome is bleak and the pain will be great? Do you think there's a bigger plan for us all that we have to see through to the end? Think about the things you and the people you love have been through, and remember how lucky we all are to be offered the opportunity to receive His Grace.
702 to go...
I've been watching the news about the young woman in Oregon with brain cancer that intends to use their State law allowing for medically-assisted suicide. Two days after her husband's birthday, in just a few weeks. I'm sure he's thrilled she's giving him that last birthday together. Not really, I'm being sarcastic. And she's being selfish.
Glenn Beck talked about this on his radio show Wednesday. I totally agree with him. This young woman shouldn't be heralded as some sort of hero for her brave sacrifice. She's giving up. I hate a quitter.
Life throws all kinds of things at us. Good and bad. We are meant to deal with them all. We aren't supposed to just chicken out, in fear of how awful or painful things may become. God doesn't have any surprises: He knows exactly what you will face from the moment you are conceived. He doesn't just sit in Heaven and toss out punishments to see how you'll do. This chick in Oregon, she gets a big FAIL.
There are lessons to be learned from everything we go through. I'm writing this blog as a way to try and teach others about how I've applied the lessons I've been given. I know I'll have more lessons to learn, and there may be bad ones among those as well. I've had plenty, but I can't just yell "ENOUGH, I QUIT" and expect God to just say "awww, I'm gonna cut her a break now." That's not how this works.
We play the hands that are dealt us. Nobody said this was a 50/50 game, with good and bad being equal. If you're going through life expecting it to be fair, you'll be sorely disappointed. It's not like that. It might be, but it's not guaranteed. We celebrate glorious highs, and what seem like bottomless lows. But the human spirit isn't designed to just quit. We are fighters. Ever seen those pictures of babies in the womb reaching out their arms? Even watched someone struggle to take one last breath? We don't quit.
This woman in Oregon wrote an article for CNN titled "My Right to Die with Dignity." Please. Your rights are given to you by God. So was your brain cancer. He meant for you to learn something from having it. You're cheating yourself, and others who might learn from it. What if during this process you were meant to find something far more important? Maybe the doctors working on your case were going to discover a cure for some other cancer? But then again, God knows you are weak and won't see this through to the end. He knows all.
A repeat, from Illusions: There is no such thing as a problem without a gift in its hands.
The greatest gift He gives us is Grace. The Grace to accept the other gifts. It's a shame this woman doesn't realize the gift He's offering her. Her story could be so inspiring, but for me it's depressing and weak. I don't think I could stand by her side and watch her throw the future away. There's so much to be learned, even from a miserable situation.
Lesson Twenty Eight: Do you believe we should just give up when things get rough? How do you feel about assisted suicide, when the outcome is bleak and the pain will be great? Do you think there's a bigger plan for us all that we have to see through to the end? Think about the things you and the people you love have been through, and remember how lucky we all are to be offered the opportunity to receive His Grace.
702 to go...
Wednesday, October 8, 2014
Unbendable Hearts
Day 27. Unbendable Hearts...
Still thinking about yesterday's post.... I can't get two little boys out of my mind.
Two tiny three-year olds, that I saw once when they were a few weeks old. I've watched them grow via social media, pictures and stories on Facebook. Their Momma and I no longer work together, but through the magic of the interwebs, can still share in the good things of life. I've seen pictures of them with spaghetti faces, hugging the animals in their lives, their eyes wide after a night at the County fair. I've read the stories about their first steps, how helpless parents feel when they are sick, how proud Momma was at seeing them make friends at day care.
I've also had to see the bad things of life. I've watched the sorrow that flows so often from my friend, knowing they are growing up while she sits waiting. I've read her heartbreaking story about wishing she had a new job where no one knew she had two boys so no one would ask if she'd seen them so her heart didn't break further. I've wondered if the person doing this to the three of them realizes just what she's doing. No, she's not "protecting" them from anything. She's not "moving on" with life. She's robbing them all of something so rare and precious, something she can't even see (or doesn't want to), a gift so magical it should be rejoiced and celebrated and shared. She's keeping them from love. And that's evil.
I said yesterday that I didn't think anything could fix this. I really don't know any kind of solution. My friend might not totally agree with where I go on this now, but I will say that God knows what to do. He is in charge, and He passes judgement. This toxic person might not realize it now, maybe not in the next ten years, but evil doesn't escape His eye. These boys and their Momma won't be separated by evil. The love they shared won't stop. Love can't be contained. It will flourish in spite of those who think they are in control. Who will then have to answer for their actions, sometimes at a price they won't easily afford.
1 Corinthians 13, lines 4 -7: Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love conquers all. Even unbendable hearts. Keep the faith.
Lesson Twenty Seven: Have you ever tried to interfere in a relationship, and how bad did that backfire? Have you been the victim of someone using children, or something else, to manipulate you? Did you have a little smile when karma bit them in the ass? Think about how precious the time we have with our loved ones is, and ensure that you never take that for granted.
703 to go...
Still thinking about yesterday's post.... I can't get two little boys out of my mind.
Two tiny three-year olds, that I saw once when they were a few weeks old. I've watched them grow via social media, pictures and stories on Facebook. Their Momma and I no longer work together, but through the magic of the interwebs, can still share in the good things of life. I've seen pictures of them with spaghetti faces, hugging the animals in their lives, their eyes wide after a night at the County fair. I've read the stories about their first steps, how helpless parents feel when they are sick, how proud Momma was at seeing them make friends at day care.
I've also had to see the bad things of life. I've watched the sorrow that flows so often from my friend, knowing they are growing up while she sits waiting. I've read her heartbreaking story about wishing she had a new job where no one knew she had two boys so no one would ask if she'd seen them so her heart didn't break further. I've wondered if the person doing this to the three of them realizes just what she's doing. No, she's not "protecting" them from anything. She's not "moving on" with life. She's robbing them all of something so rare and precious, something she can't even see (or doesn't want to), a gift so magical it should be rejoiced and celebrated and shared. She's keeping them from love. And that's evil.
I said yesterday that I didn't think anything could fix this. I really don't know any kind of solution. My friend might not totally agree with where I go on this now, but I will say that God knows what to do. He is in charge, and He passes judgement. This toxic person might not realize it now, maybe not in the next ten years, but evil doesn't escape His eye. These boys and their Momma won't be separated by evil. The love they shared won't stop. Love can't be contained. It will flourish in spite of those who think they are in control. Who will then have to answer for their actions, sometimes at a price they won't easily afford.
1 Corinthians 13, lines 4 -7: Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love conquers all. Even unbendable hearts. Keep the faith.
Lesson Twenty Seven: Have you ever tried to interfere in a relationship, and how bad did that backfire? Have you been the victim of someone using children, or something else, to manipulate you? Did you have a little smile when karma bit them in the ass? Think about how precious the time we have with our loved ones is, and ensure that you never take that for granted.
703 to go...
Tuesday, October 7, 2014
Unbreakable Chains
Day 26. Unbreakable Chains...
Talking about our dreams makes me remember those we include in them. We've talked before about how people and events are drawn into our lives by our own choosing. This would be especially true for those we share our dreams with.
From Illusions: The bond of true family is not one of blood, but but of respect and joy in each other's life.
Looking at that quote, it seems pretty simple. Family is more than blood. Life makes it a lot more complicated sometimes, but it does come down to just that. I think children can teach us a lot about this.
Monday's decision by the Supreme Court to not hear cases this session regarding several States decisions to not allow gay marriage is what got me thinking about all this. The decision means that States that had their decisions overturned by the District Courts now have a reverse ruling and such marriages will be allowed. I wrote in a discussion on Facebook that I really don't have a horse in this fight, but would comment anyway.
I personally don't have much of an opinion on the subject: oddly it's one of few things I don't get hyped up about. What consenting adults do in their free time is up to them. I know the biblical arguments, I know the States rights issues, I've heard it from both sides. I prefer the Federal government stay out of everyone's bedroom... hell, out of the whole house but that ain't happening. If two adults think they have something that is enduring enough to commit to each other, let them have at it. God sorts it out in the end, I'm not wise enough to interfere in the meantime. What I do have an opinion on is the children.
I have a friend who's going through some hell right now. After over a decade in a relationship, and nearly five more after being married in California, it ended. Hey, relationships do that. Not the end of the world, people move on. Except for two little things. Two precious boys. She's now unable to see the twins she watched enter this world, that she nurtured and loved for three years. They're moments away right now, but she can't hug them. Can't read them a bedtime story. Can't tuck them in tonight. Because their birth parent is using two innocent boys as pawns. They don't deserve to have this happen to them, they have nothing to do with the adult situation.
I've only seen the boys once, when they were newborns. But I've watched them grow, through the pictures and stories my friend has shared. They are adorable, loving, hilarious little scamps. They love hugs and kisses. Right now, they're missing their Momma. Just like she's missing them. And there's not a damn thing she can do about it. Even the power of the highest court in the land can't fix this. Nothing can be done, it's beyond reach. Being nice after the breakup worked for a bit. Playing nice when that stopped working seemed to work for a bit. Now, it's a stone wall. Rejection at every turn.
One would think that she'd get discouraged. Eventually move past it, knowing there's no resolution waiting around the corner. I know that won't happen, she will never give up on seeing her boys. Because on both sides of that stone wall that has been set up between them, there's something stronger. That bond of true family. Unbreakable chains. Of love. Of laughter. They share respect. They share joy. Unbreakable chains.
Lesson Twenty Six: Do you have bonds with people you aren't genetically related to? Are you bonded with someone that you didn't grow up with, calling them brother or sister and meaning it? Do you have step-siblings that you don't use the word "step" when introducing them? Think about the people you've drawn into your life, and realize that blood doesn't mean everything. Unbreakable chains.
704 to go...
Talking about our dreams makes me remember those we include in them. We've talked before about how people and events are drawn into our lives by our own choosing. This would be especially true for those we share our dreams with.
From Illusions: The bond of true family is not one of blood, but but of respect and joy in each other's life.
Looking at that quote, it seems pretty simple. Family is more than blood. Life makes it a lot more complicated sometimes, but it does come down to just that. I think children can teach us a lot about this.
Monday's decision by the Supreme Court to not hear cases this session regarding several States decisions to not allow gay marriage is what got me thinking about all this. The decision means that States that had their decisions overturned by the District Courts now have a reverse ruling and such marriages will be allowed. I wrote in a discussion on Facebook that I really don't have a horse in this fight, but would comment anyway.
I personally don't have much of an opinion on the subject: oddly it's one of few things I don't get hyped up about. What consenting adults do in their free time is up to them. I know the biblical arguments, I know the States rights issues, I've heard it from both sides. I prefer the Federal government stay out of everyone's bedroom... hell, out of the whole house but that ain't happening. If two adults think they have something that is enduring enough to commit to each other, let them have at it. God sorts it out in the end, I'm not wise enough to interfere in the meantime. What I do have an opinion on is the children.
I have a friend who's going through some hell right now. After over a decade in a relationship, and nearly five more after being married in California, it ended. Hey, relationships do that. Not the end of the world, people move on. Except for two little things. Two precious boys. She's now unable to see the twins she watched enter this world, that she nurtured and loved for three years. They're moments away right now, but she can't hug them. Can't read them a bedtime story. Can't tuck them in tonight. Because their birth parent is using two innocent boys as pawns. They don't deserve to have this happen to them, they have nothing to do with the adult situation.
I've only seen the boys once, when they were newborns. But I've watched them grow, through the pictures and stories my friend has shared. They are adorable, loving, hilarious little scamps. They love hugs and kisses. Right now, they're missing their Momma. Just like she's missing them. And there's not a damn thing she can do about it. Even the power of the highest court in the land can't fix this. Nothing can be done, it's beyond reach. Being nice after the breakup worked for a bit. Playing nice when that stopped working seemed to work for a bit. Now, it's a stone wall. Rejection at every turn.
One would think that she'd get discouraged. Eventually move past it, knowing there's no resolution waiting around the corner. I know that won't happen, she will never give up on seeing her boys. Because on both sides of that stone wall that has been set up between them, there's something stronger. That bond of true family. Unbreakable chains. Of love. Of laughter. They share respect. They share joy. Unbreakable chains.
Lesson Twenty Six: Do you have bonds with people you aren't genetically related to? Are you bonded with someone that you didn't grow up with, calling them brother or sister and meaning it? Do you have step-siblings that you don't use the word "step" when introducing them? Think about the people you've drawn into your life, and realize that blood doesn't mean everything. Unbreakable chains.
704 to go...
Monday, October 6, 2014
Unfinished Business
Day 25...
All this talk about limitations and dreams got me to thinking about the things we thought we wanted to do but never did. Things we might've even forgotten about, from our youth. Stuff that seemed important at the time, but as life kicked in, we let it go.
I've mentioned I wanted to learn guitar FOR REAL this time. I piddled with it as a teen, having dated a guitar player for 6 years. I messed around learning again in my twenties, when I was writing songs. Now it's been 25 years or more, and I feel the need to finally do it. First thing I gotta do is buy a new one... I really don't remember what happened to my last one. Nothing expensive, but something sturdy. If I buy something cheap that breaks, I'll use that as a reason to stop. And I mean to learn this time, so no excuses.
I fulfilled a lot of the little things I wanted to do. I've been published. I've been recorded. I've sold a few photographs. I need to do more of all three. This blog is a kicking off point for me, to get me used to writing again on a daily basis. I've got some lyrics in my head for a new tune, the guitar will help tweak that for me. And I need to break out the camera again.
I still have quite a list to accomplish. I want to go skydiving again. I really loved that, but only went once. I want to start flying again. Might check out the little FBO at the airport here, see if they have a need for some paperwork shuffling in exchange for some ride-alongs. Not interesting in getting a pilot's license, but I love being in the air. Wonder if my pals at Richard Childress Aviation could hook me up in his helicopter? Those are my favorite.
I also want to start cooking for real again. I used to cater a bit, bridal showers and the like. LOVE making fancy little bits for special occasions. I don't do the decoration part, but I can seriously cook. I might have to practice on my work friends, and the family.
I need to work on my painting, and I miss working with charcoal. too. And needlework. And scrapbooking. I have plenty of supplies, but not much has been done with them.
All these things were important to me at one time or another. But as a parent, and a spouse, I had to prioritize. The things that fell the the ground back then? I can pick them up again now. I've only got me to look out for, well, and the animals. They don't care, as long as they have food and get to run around a bit. I'm going to try my damnedest to so things for ME now. Which means all of you get to endure it. And reap the rewards.
Lesson Twenty Five: Did you put things aside as your adult life got busy? Was there a hobby, or interest you stopped when your life got full of obligations? Think about the things that make YOU happy, and see if you can fit them back into your life.
705 to go...
All this talk about limitations and dreams got me to thinking about the things we thought we wanted to do but never did. Things we might've even forgotten about, from our youth. Stuff that seemed important at the time, but as life kicked in, we let it go.
I've mentioned I wanted to learn guitar FOR REAL this time. I piddled with it as a teen, having dated a guitar player for 6 years. I messed around learning again in my twenties, when I was writing songs. Now it's been 25 years or more, and I feel the need to finally do it. First thing I gotta do is buy a new one... I really don't remember what happened to my last one. Nothing expensive, but something sturdy. If I buy something cheap that breaks, I'll use that as a reason to stop. And I mean to learn this time, so no excuses.
I fulfilled a lot of the little things I wanted to do. I've been published. I've been recorded. I've sold a few photographs. I need to do more of all three. This blog is a kicking off point for me, to get me used to writing again on a daily basis. I've got some lyrics in my head for a new tune, the guitar will help tweak that for me. And I need to break out the camera again.
I still have quite a list to accomplish. I want to go skydiving again. I really loved that, but only went once. I want to start flying again. Might check out the little FBO at the airport here, see if they have a need for some paperwork shuffling in exchange for some ride-alongs. Not interesting in getting a pilot's license, but I love being in the air. Wonder if my pals at Richard Childress Aviation could hook me up in his helicopter? Those are my favorite.
I also want to start cooking for real again. I used to cater a bit, bridal showers and the like. LOVE making fancy little bits for special occasions. I don't do the decoration part, but I can seriously cook. I might have to practice on my work friends, and the family.
I need to work on my painting, and I miss working with charcoal. too. And needlework. And scrapbooking. I have plenty of supplies, but not much has been done with them.
All these things were important to me at one time or another. But as a parent, and a spouse, I had to prioritize. The things that fell the the ground back then? I can pick them up again now. I've only got me to look out for, well, and the animals. They don't care, as long as they have food and get to run around a bit. I'm going to try my damnedest to so things for ME now. Which means all of you get to endure it. And reap the rewards.
Lesson Twenty Five: Did you put things aside as your adult life got busy? Was there a hobby, or interest you stopped when your life got full of obligations? Think about the things that make YOU happy, and see if you can fit them back into your life.
705 to go...
Sunday, October 5, 2014
Dreams
Day 24...
My sweet cousin asked after yesterday's post "But what if we don't have any dreams?" That's a really good question. I had to think about it a lot. Overnight even. I didn't trust my gut reaction, so I had to dig deep. I'm going to write a bit of other nonsense first, then I'll let you know what I think is the answer.
I talked about how dreams change. When we are children, we dream of being firemen, ballerinas, doctors, football stars, supermodels. We dream these things because that's what we see. We as humans try and emulate the things we are most exposed to, to be like the people that surround us. Even the celebrities on television, we dream we are connected to them and want to be like them.
That's not always a good thing. In modern society, as often as not, the celebrities that kids worship (and yes, it's pretty much worship, not just admire) can be some of the worst influences for them. Beyonce`, famous singer, claims herself a feminist, yet she tolerates an abusive relationship and makes millions exploiting herself as a sex toy. Mel Gibson, the actor, portrays characters with honor and respect on the big screen, yet captured in a drunk rant are his misogyny and bigotry. Ray Rice, football star, displays one set of talents on the football field and quite another when he's alone in an elevator.
Kids need better heroes. Someone like Dr. Ben Carson. He's a famous neurosurgeon now, because his mother inspired him to read and learn so he could rise above the ghetto he was born in. Someone like Walt Disney, who struck out on his own to be part of Hollywood and made his first cartoon in a back room he rented for $10 a month, using a backdrop made of scrap wood.
To the youth of America, people with lots of money seem to represent fulfilled dreams. I'd say those people are more likely than the rest of us to have unfinished business, since they don't have free time to pursue anything besides a career. And while a successful career gives you the money to fulfill other dreams that cost money, it doesn't challenge you to find your dreams the hard way. The good old-fashioned way of working for them.
I've said before that anything worth having is worth working for, by doing your best you'll achieve more than just the dream. You'll have the satisfaction of a job well done. I know that's the hard way, but it's the way most people reach their dreams. Sometimes you don't even realize that the things you're doing are actually completing dreams. It might just seem like you and your spouse are working all the time, never taking a break. Raising your kids, teaching them right. Watching them grow into good decent people. Saving up enough to buy your first real house. Having enough money in the bank to sleep well at night.
Now for the answer to my cousin's question. "But what if you don't have any dreams?" My first thought was "Then you've settled for what you've been given in life." Then I remembered who I was talking to, and realized something else. Maybe you don't have any dreams because you've gotten everything you really wanted.
Lesson Twenty Four: Are you satisfied with your life? Do you feel you have unfinished business, wanting to do things that you gave up on previously? Or do are you happy the way things are in your world, and wouldn't change a thing? Think about what goals you had for life, and you might find you're closer to them than you realized.
706 to go...
My sweet cousin asked after yesterday's post "But what if we don't have any dreams?" That's a really good question. I had to think about it a lot. Overnight even. I didn't trust my gut reaction, so I had to dig deep. I'm going to write a bit of other nonsense first, then I'll let you know what I think is the answer.
I talked about how dreams change. When we are children, we dream of being firemen, ballerinas, doctors, football stars, supermodels. We dream these things because that's what we see. We as humans try and emulate the things we are most exposed to, to be like the people that surround us. Even the celebrities on television, we dream we are connected to them and want to be like them.
That's not always a good thing. In modern society, as often as not, the celebrities that kids worship (and yes, it's pretty much worship, not just admire) can be some of the worst influences for them. Beyonce`, famous singer, claims herself a feminist, yet she tolerates an abusive relationship and makes millions exploiting herself as a sex toy. Mel Gibson, the actor, portrays characters with honor and respect on the big screen, yet captured in a drunk rant are his misogyny and bigotry. Ray Rice, football star, displays one set of talents on the football field and quite another when he's alone in an elevator.
Kids need better heroes. Someone like Dr. Ben Carson. He's a famous neurosurgeon now, because his mother inspired him to read and learn so he could rise above the ghetto he was born in. Someone like Walt Disney, who struck out on his own to be part of Hollywood and made his first cartoon in a back room he rented for $10 a month, using a backdrop made of scrap wood.
To the youth of America, people with lots of money seem to represent fulfilled dreams. I'd say those people are more likely than the rest of us to have unfinished business, since they don't have free time to pursue anything besides a career. And while a successful career gives you the money to fulfill other dreams that cost money, it doesn't challenge you to find your dreams the hard way. The good old-fashioned way of working for them.
I've said before that anything worth having is worth working for, by doing your best you'll achieve more than just the dream. You'll have the satisfaction of a job well done. I know that's the hard way, but it's the way most people reach their dreams. Sometimes you don't even realize that the things you're doing are actually completing dreams. It might just seem like you and your spouse are working all the time, never taking a break. Raising your kids, teaching them right. Watching them grow into good decent people. Saving up enough to buy your first real house. Having enough money in the bank to sleep well at night.
Now for the answer to my cousin's question. "But what if you don't have any dreams?" My first thought was "Then you've settled for what you've been given in life." Then I remembered who I was talking to, and realized something else. Maybe you don't have any dreams because you've gotten everything you really wanted.
Lesson Twenty Four: Are you satisfied with your life? Do you feel you have unfinished business, wanting to do things that you gave up on previously? Or do are you happy the way things are in your world, and wouldn't change a thing? Think about what goals you had for life, and you might find you're closer to them than you realized.
706 to go...
Saturday, October 4, 2014
Possibilities
Day 23...
We can't talk about limitations and not mention possibilities. They are limitless.
We start life as a blank slate. We can become anything we set our minds to be. We are all given the same opportunities, the same chances. We are created equal. The prejudices, barriers, and limitations: we set those ourselves. Or at the very least allow others to set them for us. Which is a bad idea. Don't even let anyone choose your dreams.
When I was a kid, I had dreams. Lots of them got squashed by a craptastic childhood, but I never stopped dreaming. I just started picking other dreams. I grew up wanting to be a lawyer. I like research, digging into things to find all the details. I figured I'd be good at it. I had spent my life around people who did a LOT of arguing and was still standing, so I could be a professional arguer. That didn't happen, but I did manage to find jobs that interested my need to investigate things, to research the tiny parts of the job. That keeps it interesting.
As I got older, I changed more dreams. I wanted to be a totally free spirit, travel the world. I'd stop and work somewhere for a few months, to earn more travel money. Then off I'd be again. Seeing things, meeting people, living the free life. That didn't exactly happen either, with starting a family and settling down being a more important thing. I did manage to see a lot of the US and a few other spots because of my work, and I still plan to do more traveling in the future. Just not by hitchhiking.
Now I have new dreams. Simpler ones, I think. I dream of things I want to do around the house. Finishing the decks. Then screening in the back one that overlooks the woods down to the creek. Having friends and family over for food. That's something I did a lot a long time ago, and I now realize how much I miss that.
I still dream of traveling. I have race friends I want to see again, in PA, TN, OK and MS. I want to visit them and drink a toast to Dave and Mark. I want to visit new tracks and meet new people like my brother Russ in KS (remind me to tell you how I have a brother in KS that I've never met.) I've made a ton of new friends thanks to Facebook. Political allies need to meet and have a drink so we can discuss solving the problems of the world face to face. The shrewsisters, yes we will all meet in person before this life is over. Those will be EPIC.
I won't say I don't dream of love. I've had love. I still do. I've found my perspective on love has changed. I thought I used to know what a soul mate was, but I didn't. I think I do now, and I'm hoping I choose more wisely next time.
Yes, you do get to choose your soul mate. You thought you just magically came together in a flash of light? Nah. You have to work for that, too. Nothings easy in this life, or the next. That whole line about "kissing a lot of frogs before you find your prince" isn't that untrue. Magic happens, but it's sometimes fleeting. Nothing lasts forever, right? Maybe. I'm not real sure about all that still. I just know you never ever stop looking for love. You find it wherever you can. Just don't mistake something else for love. Companionship, security, lust... all those seem like love at certain times, but that's just a test for you.
Oops, almost forgot another one. I want to learn the guitar. Again. I halfway took it up as a teen, then got away from it. I think it'll help my songwriting.
All these things I've talked about, they're just the possibilities I've thought about. There are lots more out there: the world is wide open for each of us. We just have to find the courage to take control of what we were given at birth and make it happen for us. No fear. No limitations. ALL IN.
Lesson Twenty Three: Are there dreams you gave up on? Why? Do you still think about them, and couldn't you still pick them now? What's stopping you? Think about your life and the dreams you have for it. And go make them happen.
707 to go...
We can't talk about limitations and not mention possibilities. They are limitless.
We start life as a blank slate. We can become anything we set our minds to be. We are all given the same opportunities, the same chances. We are created equal. The prejudices, barriers, and limitations: we set those ourselves. Or at the very least allow others to set them for us. Which is a bad idea. Don't even let anyone choose your dreams.
When I was a kid, I had dreams. Lots of them got squashed by a craptastic childhood, but I never stopped dreaming. I just started picking other dreams. I grew up wanting to be a lawyer. I like research, digging into things to find all the details. I figured I'd be good at it. I had spent my life around people who did a LOT of arguing and was still standing, so I could be a professional arguer. That didn't happen, but I did manage to find jobs that interested my need to investigate things, to research the tiny parts of the job. That keeps it interesting.
As I got older, I changed more dreams. I wanted to be a totally free spirit, travel the world. I'd stop and work somewhere for a few months, to earn more travel money. Then off I'd be again. Seeing things, meeting people, living the free life. That didn't exactly happen either, with starting a family and settling down being a more important thing. I did manage to see a lot of the US and a few other spots because of my work, and I still plan to do more traveling in the future. Just not by hitchhiking.
Now I have new dreams. Simpler ones, I think. I dream of things I want to do around the house. Finishing the decks. Then screening in the back one that overlooks the woods down to the creek. Having friends and family over for food. That's something I did a lot a long time ago, and I now realize how much I miss that.
I still dream of traveling. I have race friends I want to see again, in PA, TN, OK and MS. I want to visit them and drink a toast to Dave and Mark. I want to visit new tracks and meet new people like my brother Russ in KS (remind me to tell you how I have a brother in KS that I've never met.) I've made a ton of new friends thanks to Facebook. Political allies need to meet and have a drink so we can discuss solving the problems of the world face to face. The shrewsisters, yes we will all meet in person before this life is over. Those will be EPIC.
I won't say I don't dream of love. I've had love. I still do. I've found my perspective on love has changed. I thought I used to know what a soul mate was, but I didn't. I think I do now, and I'm hoping I choose more wisely next time.
Yes, you do get to choose your soul mate. You thought you just magically came together in a flash of light? Nah. You have to work for that, too. Nothings easy in this life, or the next. That whole line about "kissing a lot of frogs before you find your prince" isn't that untrue. Magic happens, but it's sometimes fleeting. Nothing lasts forever, right? Maybe. I'm not real sure about all that still. I just know you never ever stop looking for love. You find it wherever you can. Just don't mistake something else for love. Companionship, security, lust... all those seem like love at certain times, but that's just a test for you.
Oops, almost forgot another one. I want to learn the guitar. Again. I halfway took it up as a teen, then got away from it. I think it'll help my songwriting.
All these things I've talked about, they're just the possibilities I've thought about. There are lots more out there: the world is wide open for each of us. We just have to find the courage to take control of what we were given at birth and make it happen for us. No fear. No limitations. ALL IN.
Lesson Twenty Three: Are there dreams you gave up on? Why? Do you still think about them, and couldn't you still pick them now? What's stopping you? Think about your life and the dreams you have for it. And go make them happen.
707 to go...
Friday, October 3, 2014
Limitations
Day 22... yeah, titles seem to matter. BOOBS got triple views , so I'm trying some clickbait...
Following up on yesterday's discussion on limitations... from Illusions: Argue your limitations and sure enough, they're yours.
Recent events in DC regarding the Secret Service's failures to properly protect the First Family have resulted in the resignation of the female head of the SS. A resignation which wasn't asked for earlier in the day, when the Administration supported her fully, but was readily accepted during the same business day.
I've read a few reports that she was "unfairly" harangued and was forced to walk off the "glass cliff." I suspect it's a reference to Hillary Clinton's famous "glass ceiling" comment from a few years ago. You know, how women still have to struggle to achieve anything. The glass cliff was referenced to describe how women are hired to fix things they had no blame in ruining, and then are forced out when things don't get better soon enough. An example was Carly Fiorina at HP.
She wasn't quite a failure, if I recall correctly. And she was quite successful before and after HP. Plus they are a corporation, that makes things. Not quite the same as providing security protection for the leader of the free world (damn, that hurts to say even after six years.) Whoever was in the position failed, it just happened to be her.
I truly don't think women are the oppressed beings some would have us think. There's lots of successful women, ones that work hard and make their own way. Not existing on government support or handouts, which The Life of Julia ads from 2012 would have us think are the way women should lead their lives. On the dole, without a spouse, taxpayer-funded education and housing. Sure sounds like a recipe for success, right?
I believe anyone can do anything. They just have to want it bad enough. Half-assed efforts don't get you anywhere. You want a better job, you probably need more education and then some experience. You want a bigger house, newer car? You have to find that better job instead of working at Mickey D's for minimum wage for eight years. Who does that and thinks they'll ever realize their dreams?
Argue your limitations. Convince yourself that as a woman you can never be a CEO. You can never run your own small business. You will never have that new car you want. Sure enough, you'll never have any of them.
Same goes for men, minorities, etc. Think you're stuck in a dead end job or marriage? There you'll be. Think you have marks against you because of your skin color or sexual preference? You do if you allow it.
Lesson Twenty Two: Do you accept the idea that we can never rise above certain levels because of barriers placed on us because of our sex, ethnicity, etc? Have you ever just went along with things because you thought you couldn't change things? Think about your own goals, and how much easier they'll be to reach if you don't give them up so easily. ALL IN.
708 to go...
Following up on yesterday's discussion on limitations... from Illusions: Argue your limitations and sure enough, they're yours.
Recent events in DC regarding the Secret Service's failures to properly protect the First Family have resulted in the resignation of the female head of the SS. A resignation which wasn't asked for earlier in the day, when the Administration supported her fully, but was readily accepted during the same business day.
I've read a few reports that she was "unfairly" harangued and was forced to walk off the "glass cliff." I suspect it's a reference to Hillary Clinton's famous "glass ceiling" comment from a few years ago. You know, how women still have to struggle to achieve anything. The glass cliff was referenced to describe how women are hired to fix things they had no blame in ruining, and then are forced out when things don't get better soon enough. An example was Carly Fiorina at HP.
She wasn't quite a failure, if I recall correctly. And she was quite successful before and after HP. Plus they are a corporation, that makes things. Not quite the same as providing security protection for the leader of the free world (damn, that hurts to say even after six years.) Whoever was in the position failed, it just happened to be her.
I truly don't think women are the oppressed beings some would have us think. There's lots of successful women, ones that work hard and make their own way. Not existing on government support or handouts, which The Life of Julia ads from 2012 would have us think are the way women should lead their lives. On the dole, without a spouse, taxpayer-funded education and housing. Sure sounds like a recipe for success, right?
I believe anyone can do anything. They just have to want it bad enough. Half-assed efforts don't get you anywhere. You want a better job, you probably need more education and then some experience. You want a bigger house, newer car? You have to find that better job instead of working at Mickey D's for minimum wage for eight years. Who does that and thinks they'll ever realize their dreams?
Argue your limitations. Convince yourself that as a woman you can never be a CEO. You can never run your own small business. You will never have that new car you want. Sure enough, you'll never have any of them.
Same goes for men, minorities, etc. Think you're stuck in a dead end job or marriage? There you'll be. Think you have marks against you because of your skin color or sexual preference? You do if you allow it.
Lesson Twenty Two: Do you accept the idea that we can never rise above certain levels because of barriers placed on us because of our sex, ethnicity, etc? Have you ever just went along with things because you thought you couldn't change things? Think about your own goals, and how much easier they'll be to reach if you don't give them up so easily. ALL IN.
708 to go...
Thursday, October 2, 2014
Day 21
Day 21...
Lucky 21, eh? I'm not much of a believer in luck, chance, astrology, etc. I think you make your own way through life, even if God has predetermined the days you have until you are called Home.
Lots of people are big on astrology. I'm not quite sure of it, since it apparently has some flaws from what I see. Pretty sure I'm not the shy, quiet and practical Capricorn. Not a wallflower, not the one standing near the exit at a party waiting for it to end. Maybe a strange moon in mid-January 1962, since my identical birthday twin is comedian Jim Carrey, he breaks that stereotype as well.
Numerology? As much as I love numbers, I can't get into that either. Not even to spend a buck on a lottery ticket. I'll keep my dollar. I do know someone who won like two million bucks in the NH state lottery back in the 90's, but never try and win it for myself. I've got craptastic luck so I'll not waste my time or money.
Not much of a gambler either. Played a lot of poker in the 90's for Red Dog beer bottle caps, which was about all I could afford to lose. Many a fun night with Tim and Myron, eating gourmet snacks I'd make for the four of us and playing poker until dawn. Or Myron's now ex-wife would send the kids across the street to tell him to come home. I don't do the casinos, I've been to Vegas but didn't gamble there either.
I prefer having a plan. What's that engineer slogan: Proper Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance? I'd go with that. Because even with the best of plans, things still go off the rails. Without one, I'd be doomed I say, doomed. Life still doesn't go according to my plan, but I find comfort in it. I have alternate plans B through R at least, for when they're needed. Those forks are much less painless when we give a little thought to the pain they'll cause, and try to minimize it.
It's often said that without bad luck, some of us would have no luck at all. I try and react to the bad luck as quickly as possible, make it go away quietly. I think that dealing with things right away and moving on to the next challenge lessens the blow.
From Illusions: You are never given a wish without being given the power to make it come true. You may have to work for it, however.
Pretty much wipes out the whole luck thing. Nothing is ever free in this life (or the next), so you have to earn everything you get. Which, to an advanced soul, also means that you have earned the bad things as well. It's all a test, remember?
Lesson Twenty One: Do you believe that we make our own luck, or what will be, will be? Have you had something happen to you that cannot be explained except by dumb luck? Did you ever read your horoscope and find you could make the events of the day fit inside the words? Can you remember a time that things went bad and you took another path, just knowing things would be better eventually? Think about how your decisions and your reactions really affected the outcome more than you realized.
709 to go...
Lucky 21, eh? I'm not much of a believer in luck, chance, astrology, etc. I think you make your own way through life, even if God has predetermined the days you have until you are called Home.
Lots of people are big on astrology. I'm not quite sure of it, since it apparently has some flaws from what I see. Pretty sure I'm not the shy, quiet and practical Capricorn. Not a wallflower, not the one standing near the exit at a party waiting for it to end. Maybe a strange moon in mid-January 1962, since my identical birthday twin is comedian Jim Carrey, he breaks that stereotype as well.
Numerology? As much as I love numbers, I can't get into that either. Not even to spend a buck on a lottery ticket. I'll keep my dollar. I do know someone who won like two million bucks in the NH state lottery back in the 90's, but never try and win it for myself. I've got craptastic luck so I'll not waste my time or money.
Not much of a gambler either. Played a lot of poker in the 90's for Red Dog beer bottle caps, which was about all I could afford to lose. Many a fun night with Tim and Myron, eating gourmet snacks I'd make for the four of us and playing poker until dawn. Or Myron's now ex-wife would send the kids across the street to tell him to come home. I don't do the casinos, I've been to Vegas but didn't gamble there either.
I prefer having a plan. What's that engineer slogan: Proper Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance? I'd go with that. Because even with the best of plans, things still go off the rails. Without one, I'd be doomed I say, doomed. Life still doesn't go according to my plan, but I find comfort in it. I have alternate plans B through R at least, for when they're needed. Those forks are much less painless when we give a little thought to the pain they'll cause, and try to minimize it.
It's often said that without bad luck, some of us would have no luck at all. I try and react to the bad luck as quickly as possible, make it go away quietly. I think that dealing with things right away and moving on to the next challenge lessens the blow.
From Illusions: You are never given a wish without being given the power to make it come true. You may have to work for it, however.
Pretty much wipes out the whole luck thing. Nothing is ever free in this life (or the next), so you have to earn everything you get. Which, to an advanced soul, also means that you have earned the bad things as well. It's all a test, remember?
Lesson Twenty One: Do you believe that we make our own luck, or what will be, will be? Have you had something happen to you that cannot be explained except by dumb luck? Did you ever read your horoscope and find you could make the events of the day fit inside the words? Can you remember a time that things went bad and you took another path, just knowing things would be better eventually? Think about how your decisions and your reactions really affected the outcome more than you realized.
709 to go...
Wednesday, October 1, 2014
Day 20
Day 20
Gee, I wonder if the title of my extra post last night got the extra attention or what??? you people are so easy.... Back to learning about... life, I guess it is we're learning about. Technically I could count the BOOBS post as a lesson, as it's something I believe in strongly. But I'll just start fresh today, using that as a starting point.
From Illusions: Argue your limitations and soon enough, they're yours. By using adjectives, subscriptions, etc. to describe each other or groups of people, we unknowingly define them. We limit them to the expectations of our statement.
Hillary Clinton (spit) and her "glass ceiling" line... not one of the greatest moments in feminist history, in my opinion. She basically said that women have been held back since the beginning of time and finally have a chance to "break through." Really? Hsn't the opportunity always been there for women to succeed? She might've climbed higher towards the goal she was after, but what stopped anyone from trying before her? Did they accept their limitations by saying "oh, I can't do it, it's never been done before"?
I'm actually not a big fan of "firsts." Someone always has to define the person accomplishing something as "the first Latino" or "the first Harvard graduate"... so? Why can't we just say "the first person to swim the English channel" and stop there? does it really matter so much to accomplish something that we must have a "first" for every category? "First white woman from Lexington to write a silly blog"... yeah, that's me. Woohoo, I'm so proud. Please.
I believe people do this because they can't just be proud someone accomplished something, but think the person needs to be given some special recognition since they weren't "first". Even if the attention is unwanted. So rarely do we see anyone step up and say "I'm just glad I was able to finish the challenge, it doesn't matter that I'm black/female/handicapped." We should celebrate all achievements equally. Dividing us into catergories only makes us weaker.
Lesson 20: Are you proud of your accomplishments? Do you celebrate them quietly, not caring that the world notices? Have you ever given up on something because you didn't think it was possible because of your age, your sex? Do you regret not trying things that you were told weren't achieveable? Think about what you've missed by allowing your own limitations to define you. Don't let it happen again, please.
710 to go...
Gee, I wonder if the title of my extra post last night got the extra attention or what??? you people are so easy.... Back to learning about... life, I guess it is we're learning about. Technically I could count the BOOBS post as a lesson, as it's something I believe in strongly. But I'll just start fresh today, using that as a starting point.
From Illusions: Argue your limitations and soon enough, they're yours. By using adjectives, subscriptions, etc. to describe each other or groups of people, we unknowingly define them. We limit them to the expectations of our statement.
Hillary Clinton (spit) and her "glass ceiling" line... not one of the greatest moments in feminist history, in my opinion. She basically said that women have been held back since the beginning of time and finally have a chance to "break through." Really? Hsn't the opportunity always been there for women to succeed? She might've climbed higher towards the goal she was after, but what stopped anyone from trying before her? Did they accept their limitations by saying "oh, I can't do it, it's never been done before"?
I'm actually not a big fan of "firsts." Someone always has to define the person accomplishing something as "the first Latino" or "the first Harvard graduate"... so? Why can't we just say "the first person to swim the English channel" and stop there? does it really matter so much to accomplish something that we must have a "first" for every category? "First white woman from Lexington to write a silly blog"... yeah, that's me. Woohoo, I'm so proud. Please.
I believe people do this because they can't just be proud someone accomplished something, but think the person needs to be given some special recognition since they weren't "first". Even if the attention is unwanted. So rarely do we see anyone step up and say "I'm just glad I was able to finish the challenge, it doesn't matter that I'm black/female/handicapped." We should celebrate all achievements equally. Dividing us into catergories only makes us weaker.
Lesson 20: Are you proud of your accomplishments? Do you celebrate them quietly, not caring that the world notices? Have you ever given up on something because you didn't think it was possible because of your age, your sex? Do you regret not trying things that you were told weren't achieveable? Think about what you've missed by allowing your own limitations to define you. Don't let it happen again, please.
710 to go...
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
Boobs
Oh, hi! Got your attention, I see...
I'd like to talk about boobs for a bit. They really annoy me. I don't like them very much. I think they're stupid and useless things. They come in all different sizes, but I have no use for any of them.
Wait... you probably think I meant "boobs" as in "women's breasts." Nah, I was talking about real boobs. Stupid people. Idiots. Those that muster outrage at two television talking heads over supposed slights at a woman, yet allow obvious misogyny to continue in the next breath.
I just have one question for those who would have those two men drummed off the stage: why is it also acceptable for someone to highlight another woman flying a military jet for the UK and it be perfectly fine?
I mean really, why are you not shocked and disgusted that she was singled out as a FEMALE fighter jet pilot? Have we not come so far in our struggles as women that we can't BE fighter jet pilots without someone drawing attention to it? Where the outrage at the GALL that someone would have to MENTION that the pilot was female? Can't we be expected to perform at the level of male pilots, and not have to have our BOOBS distract everyone from the fact that we are capable WOMEN? Why a special article about a FEMALE pilot with BOOBS, why can't she just be referred to as a PILOT?!?!?
Yeah, that's what I thought.
Hypocrisy. It's what's for dinner.
If anyone ever expects to be treated equally, we have to also stop the whole "glass ceiling", "first woman XXX", "first female WHATEVER".... we have to be judged on our merits, not our BOOBS. I won't settle for being the best "woman", I want to be the best. Period. Leave my BOOBS out of it.
I'd like to talk about boobs for a bit. They really annoy me. I don't like them very much. I think they're stupid and useless things. They come in all different sizes, but I have no use for any of them.
Wait... you probably think I meant "boobs" as in "women's breasts." Nah, I was talking about real boobs. Stupid people. Idiots. Those that muster outrage at two television talking heads over supposed slights at a woman, yet allow obvious misogyny to continue in the next breath.
I just have one question for those who would have those two men drummed off the stage: why is it also acceptable for someone to highlight another woman flying a military jet for the UK and it be perfectly fine?
I mean really, why are you not shocked and disgusted that she was singled out as a FEMALE fighter jet pilot? Have we not come so far in our struggles as women that we can't BE fighter jet pilots without someone drawing attention to it? Where the outrage at the GALL that someone would have to MENTION that the pilot was female? Can't we be expected to perform at the level of male pilots, and not have to have our BOOBS distract everyone from the fact that we are capable WOMEN? Why a special article about a FEMALE pilot with BOOBS, why can't she just be referred to as a PILOT?!?!?
Yeah, that's what I thought.
Hypocrisy. It's what's for dinner.
If anyone ever expects to be treated equally, we have to also stop the whole "glass ceiling", "first woman XXX", "first female WHATEVER".... we have to be judged on our merits, not our BOOBS. I won't settle for being the best "woman", I want to be the best. Period. Leave my BOOBS out of it.
Day 19
Day 19...
Following up on the "OMG someone said something and I'm offended" theme of the past few days... I'm still pondering the whole "reaction" thing. I guess I must be Hard Hearted Hannah since most things don't bother me to that level. I don't understand how words said by someone else about someone else are supposed to upset me so much that I change my behavior, social interaction and even political philosophy.
Why do we care so much about what others think? It's a big world, lots of different opinions. Unless someone has some sort of power over me (the ability to hire/fire, government or law enforcement, etc.) I don't see how their POV has many repercussions for me. Unless I let them. And why would I do that?
Makes me think about the gay rights movement. It's a smaller portion of the population here in the US, according to the most recent census. Gay marriage is legal in a handful of states, most of which had it enacted legislatively and not via public referendum. A few years back when NC voters said no to it, I had a Facebook friend that thought since they were pro-gay marriage they could bash the voters here over our decision. Yeah, that's how you lose me as a friend. I don't have to like how you vote to be your friend, but you must like how I vote or I'm a stupid redneck hick. Whatever.
Firstly, I never discussed how I voted on Amendment One. I never discussed how I felt about gay marriage at all, that I remember. So for someone who lives in another state to decide I'm an intolerant ass over something they know nothing about and weren't involved in, pretty presumptuous. How can someone make such a leap?
Secondly, this person wasn't affected by my voting either way. They're in a heterosexual relationship with two kids by their partner. My vote here in NC wouldn't matter. Why the outrage? Why care so much about something that doesn't affect you that you alienate others? Speaking as someone who rarely says things that need taken back, I can't see why anyone risks even just an online friendship over a cause they bear no cross for.
If asked, I could have set the record straight on my stance. But I was never asked. Someone just assumed I was part of group they considered intolerant, and under the bus I went. And I went fairly quietly. One comment about not being lumped into a group, and I was done. No ranting from me about how offended I was at being called a bigot, no boo-hooing about being treated poorly. I kept the power, and walked away.
Lesson Nineteen: Are you someone or do you know someone who "rushes to judgement?" Do you try and temper your responses by taking time to think about your reaction? What matters more to you, relationships or your perception of someones stance on an issue? Think about the last time you felt "outraged": was it justified or did you jump to a conclusion?
711 to go...
Following up on the "OMG someone said something and I'm offended" theme of the past few days... I'm still pondering the whole "reaction" thing. I guess I must be Hard Hearted Hannah since most things don't bother me to that level. I don't understand how words said by someone else about someone else are supposed to upset me so much that I change my behavior, social interaction and even political philosophy.
Why do we care so much about what others think? It's a big world, lots of different opinions. Unless someone has some sort of power over me (the ability to hire/fire, government or law enforcement, etc.) I don't see how their POV has many repercussions for me. Unless I let them. And why would I do that?
Makes me think about the gay rights movement. It's a smaller portion of the population here in the US, according to the most recent census. Gay marriage is legal in a handful of states, most of which had it enacted legislatively and not via public referendum. A few years back when NC voters said no to it, I had a Facebook friend that thought since they were pro-gay marriage they could bash the voters here over our decision. Yeah, that's how you lose me as a friend. I don't have to like how you vote to be your friend, but you must like how I vote or I'm a stupid redneck hick. Whatever.
Firstly, I never discussed how I voted on Amendment One. I never discussed how I felt about gay marriage at all, that I remember. So for someone who lives in another state to decide I'm an intolerant ass over something they know nothing about and weren't involved in, pretty presumptuous. How can someone make such a leap?
Secondly, this person wasn't affected by my voting either way. They're in a heterosexual relationship with two kids by their partner. My vote here in NC wouldn't matter. Why the outrage? Why care so much about something that doesn't affect you that you alienate others? Speaking as someone who rarely says things that need taken back, I can't see why anyone risks even just an online friendship over a cause they bear no cross for.
If asked, I could have set the record straight on my stance. But I was never asked. Someone just assumed I was part of group they considered intolerant, and under the bus I went. And I went fairly quietly. One comment about not being lumped into a group, and I was done. No ranting from me about how offended I was at being called a bigot, no boo-hooing about being treated poorly. I kept the power, and walked away.
Lesson Nineteen: Are you someone or do you know someone who "rushes to judgement?" Do you try and temper your responses by taking time to think about your reaction? What matters more to you, relationships or your perception of someones stance on an issue? Think about the last time you felt "outraged": was it justified or did you jump to a conclusion?
711 to go...
Monday, September 29, 2014
Day 18
Day 18...
Another lonely park, Another Sunday... wait. It's Monday. Never mind. Just another Manic Monday.... that's more like it. Random thought day, it seems. Which isn't really THAT unusual, I just don't write them all down. When I started blogging again, I had that thought. Then I realized I might scare people. So I'm trying to keep them reined in a bit. Yesterday we talked about being offended/hurt by things people say. Not people we know, but people we see or read about. You know my feelings on it, I really don't care much about what others say. Making themselves look stupid is their choice. Letting them hurt me with their words is mine.
Remember that book, Illusions? The author, Richard Bach, is probably more famous for Jonathan Livingston Seagull, but he has other books as well. One. no, that's the title. It talks about relationships, soulmates, love. One of the lessons in it is that other people can't hurt you unless you give them that power. That's kind of where I was going yesterday. People are stupid sometimes. They say stupid things. Sometimes they do them on purpose, to hurt others. I've said before you can never truly forgive someone, and this is another reason why you have to think before you speak. If your words do cause someone pain, its on you to deal with the consequences. Your responsibility is to not let you hurt them. If you never give anyone the power to hurt you, they never will. Growing up with a parent that beat the crap out of me for just breathing, I learned not to show pain or fear. The more someone realizes they can't hurt you, the weaker they become. Fighting back isn't always an option, but fighting from the inside is always a choice. If they can't reach you, they can't hurt you.
We do have to be careful with building walls to keep out the pain. Walls don't just protect us, they also isolate us. We can't hide behind them, we can't stop loving some just because others hurt us. We need to allow those who would comfort us, protect us, love us to get inside the walls. Be sure and give them the key to the secret entrance, and don't ever let the bad guys inside. It will be like a live game of Castle Defense. The bad guys will keep coming. Sometimes they'll turn out to be someone you gave a key to once. Not your fault, people are tricky. But don't ever doubt that everyone you let inside the walls might not stay there forever. Sometimes there really is an enemy within. Heck, sometimes the enemy is even ourselves.
We all fight to protect the innocent, the scared. We can become victims of ourselves, if we isolate ourselves too far within our walls. I've done that before. To keep from getting hurt, I withdraw. I start going through the motions, basically "faking" life to keep from getting hurt. Instead of confronting my fear, I let it define me. Not my proudest moments, but I've been learning how not to do that. I've said before that you have to run the risk of losing everything to gain what you really want in life. Don't let your walls minimize that risk for you.
Lesson Eighteen: Do you use your walls as defense or offense? Do you let people inside your "circle of trust" easily, or do you hold back? Have you been hurt by someone and later realized that you let them do it? What can you teach yourself by not being so worried about others opinions and more concerned with your personal growth? Think about how people use words to control each other.
712 to go..
Another lonely park, Another Sunday... wait. It's Monday. Never mind. Just another Manic Monday.... that's more like it. Random thought day, it seems. Which isn't really THAT unusual, I just don't write them all down. When I started blogging again, I had that thought. Then I realized I might scare people. So I'm trying to keep them reined in a bit. Yesterday we talked about being offended/hurt by things people say. Not people we know, but people we see or read about. You know my feelings on it, I really don't care much about what others say. Making themselves look stupid is their choice. Letting them hurt me with their words is mine.
Remember that book, Illusions? The author, Richard Bach, is probably more famous for Jonathan Livingston Seagull, but he has other books as well. One. no, that's the title. It talks about relationships, soulmates, love. One of the lessons in it is that other people can't hurt you unless you give them that power. That's kind of where I was going yesterday. People are stupid sometimes. They say stupid things. Sometimes they do them on purpose, to hurt others. I've said before you can never truly forgive someone, and this is another reason why you have to think before you speak. If your words do cause someone pain, its on you to deal with the consequences. Your responsibility is to not let you hurt them. If you never give anyone the power to hurt you, they never will. Growing up with a parent that beat the crap out of me for just breathing, I learned not to show pain or fear. The more someone realizes they can't hurt you, the weaker they become. Fighting back isn't always an option, but fighting from the inside is always a choice. If they can't reach you, they can't hurt you.
We do have to be careful with building walls to keep out the pain. Walls don't just protect us, they also isolate us. We can't hide behind them, we can't stop loving some just because others hurt us. We need to allow those who would comfort us, protect us, love us to get inside the walls. Be sure and give them the key to the secret entrance, and don't ever let the bad guys inside. It will be like a live game of Castle Defense. The bad guys will keep coming. Sometimes they'll turn out to be someone you gave a key to once. Not your fault, people are tricky. But don't ever doubt that everyone you let inside the walls might not stay there forever. Sometimes there really is an enemy within. Heck, sometimes the enemy is even ourselves.
We all fight to protect the innocent, the scared. We can become victims of ourselves, if we isolate ourselves too far within our walls. I've done that before. To keep from getting hurt, I withdraw. I start going through the motions, basically "faking" life to keep from getting hurt. Instead of confronting my fear, I let it define me. Not my proudest moments, but I've been learning how not to do that. I've said before that you have to run the risk of losing everything to gain what you really want in life. Don't let your walls minimize that risk for you.
Lesson Eighteen: Do you use your walls as defense or offense? Do you let people inside your "circle of trust" easily, or do you hold back? Have you been hurt by someone and later realized that you let them do it? What can you teach yourself by not being so worried about others opinions and more concerned with your personal growth? Think about how people use words to control each other.
712 to go..
Sunday, September 28, 2014
Day 17
Day 17...
This would normally be a lazy Sunday morning, but I'm inspired to write so here we go...
Stirred up about politics overnight, I've been thinking about what motivates people to do the things they do, say the things they say, act the way they do.
There's quite the ruckus this weekend about commentary made on an afternoon talk show by two Conservative men (who are actually both Libertarians), where they have been accused of (not in my opinion) degrading women. Even though they have both since apologized (unnecessarily in my opinion), there's still plenty of vitriol against them both. I don't get the whole fuss about it.
Since when did we start to care so much about what someone on television said? These guys are both media personalities: one is a financial advisor/investment banker type, the other is an early morning show host that happens to be one of the most sarcastically funny guys on the planet. They aren't running for any office. They aren't endorsing any candidates. They don't control any funding groups. They get paid to talk about things on television. I'd hate to GUESS what I'd say and how I'd be maligned and run off the screen.
The whole dust-up got me thinking about why we get upset at what others say. "Sticks and stones" was one of the first lessons we learn as children. Have we forgotten those teachings so quickly? And for that matter, they weren't talking about any of us. Who are we to be offended at what someone said about someone else? Shouldn't that right be reserved to the actual "victim" as it were? Why do we need to rush to their aid, crying foul and threatening to remove our loyalty from the political party they support (which in this case is being nothing short of dramatic, see my statement about them being Libertarians above) and abandoning them for others who will not disparage us? Really? Are we so naive as to think that no one has ever or will never say anything negative about someone?
Let's ask..... Paula Deen. You remember her? Looks like the ordinary Southern grandma, cooking wonderful food full of love and butter. She once uttered a phrase in the presence of others that offended someone. That statement was brought to light some twenty years later. By a former employee of her brother's business who had filed a lawsuit against what she believed wrongful termination. In an effort to make Paula appear racist, the media rushed out that statement. Food Network cancelled their contract with her, as did Smithfield Foods. Paula made a heartfelt apology (again, in my opinion, unnecessary) on television. Then she went to ground.
Later, we find out that the statement was made in the days just after Paula Deen was mugged. By a black man. She didn't call anyone in her presence a derogatory name. She expressed her anger at the man who had attacked her. Yet twenty years later, a participant in the conversation was so upset by it that she felt she should mention it in court. Twenty years later. And Paula wasn't talking to her. Who gave that woman the right to be offended? Unless she was involved in the mugging, it wasn't directed at her.
Same with the co-hosts of The Five. Were they talking to me? Nope. I didn't even hear the first comment, so I know that didn't bother me. And it shouldn't have even if I did. I did hear the second one. Sorry, "boobs on the ground" was funny. I'd wager the majority of those complaining aren't even considering voting for Conservative candidates in a few weeks. So why the outrage? Who's hurt by this?
I don't really get upset when Al Sharpton calls some Conservatives "tea-baggers." I could care less what he thinks or says. It doesn't bother me when Bill Maher rants about politics: he gets paid to do so. I don't watch his show anyway, so HBO doesn't make money from me for that.
Lesson Seventeen: Think about who gets you steamed. Then think about if you really should even be bothered by what they say at all. Were they talking to you? Are they in a position of power? Unless they are, they hold no sway over your life. Water off a duck's back. If they are an elected official, business owner, etc., you can vote with a ballot or your wallet. Television personalities, celebrities, athletes: they don't deserve the power you give them when you allow them to upset your life.
713 to go...
This would normally be a lazy Sunday morning, but I'm inspired to write so here we go...
Stirred up about politics overnight, I've been thinking about what motivates people to do the things they do, say the things they say, act the way they do.
There's quite the ruckus this weekend about commentary made on an afternoon talk show by two Conservative men (who are actually both Libertarians), where they have been accused of (not in my opinion) degrading women. Even though they have both since apologized (unnecessarily in my opinion), there's still plenty of vitriol against them both. I don't get the whole fuss about it.
Since when did we start to care so much about what someone on television said? These guys are both media personalities: one is a financial advisor/investment banker type, the other is an early morning show host that happens to be one of the most sarcastically funny guys on the planet. They aren't running for any office. They aren't endorsing any candidates. They don't control any funding groups. They get paid to talk about things on television. I'd hate to GUESS what I'd say and how I'd be maligned and run off the screen.
The whole dust-up got me thinking about why we get upset at what others say. "Sticks and stones" was one of the first lessons we learn as children. Have we forgotten those teachings so quickly? And for that matter, they weren't talking about any of us. Who are we to be offended at what someone said about someone else? Shouldn't that right be reserved to the actual "victim" as it were? Why do we need to rush to their aid, crying foul and threatening to remove our loyalty from the political party they support (which in this case is being nothing short of dramatic, see my statement about them being Libertarians above) and abandoning them for others who will not disparage us? Really? Are we so naive as to think that no one has ever or will never say anything negative about someone?
Let's ask..... Paula Deen. You remember her? Looks like the ordinary Southern grandma, cooking wonderful food full of love and butter. She once uttered a phrase in the presence of others that offended someone. That statement was brought to light some twenty years later. By a former employee of her brother's business who had filed a lawsuit against what she believed wrongful termination. In an effort to make Paula appear racist, the media rushed out that statement. Food Network cancelled their contract with her, as did Smithfield Foods. Paula made a heartfelt apology (again, in my opinion, unnecessary) on television. Then she went to ground.
Later, we find out that the statement was made in the days just after Paula Deen was mugged. By a black man. She didn't call anyone in her presence a derogatory name. She expressed her anger at the man who had attacked her. Yet twenty years later, a participant in the conversation was so upset by it that she felt she should mention it in court. Twenty years later. And Paula wasn't talking to her. Who gave that woman the right to be offended? Unless she was involved in the mugging, it wasn't directed at her.
Same with the co-hosts of The Five. Were they talking to me? Nope. I didn't even hear the first comment, so I know that didn't bother me. And it shouldn't have even if I did. I did hear the second one. Sorry, "boobs on the ground" was funny. I'd wager the majority of those complaining aren't even considering voting for Conservative candidates in a few weeks. So why the outrage? Who's hurt by this?
I don't really get upset when Al Sharpton calls some Conservatives "tea-baggers." I could care less what he thinks or says. It doesn't bother me when Bill Maher rants about politics: he gets paid to do so. I don't watch his show anyway, so HBO doesn't make money from me for that.
Lesson Seventeen: Think about who gets you steamed. Then think about if you really should even be bothered by what they say at all. Were they talking to you? Are they in a position of power? Unless they are, they hold no sway over your life. Water off a duck's back. If they are an elected official, business owner, etc., you can vote with a ballot or your wallet. Television personalities, celebrities, athletes: they don't deserve the power you give them when you allow them to upset your life.
713 to go...
Saturday, September 27, 2014
Day 16
Day 16...
Yesterday was an awesome day, talking about love. Congrats again to the happy couple Brandi and Charles. While you're celebrating the start of a new life together, the rest of us are plodding along with our regularly scheduled programming....
Life does seem programmed at times. We get up, go to work, come home, do some chores, have dinner, take a shower, go to sleep, get up got to work.... well, you get the picture. It doesn't have to be that way, but it's nice and comfortable for most of us. We like routine.
I have a lot of routine, but I don't think I have a programmed life. I leave wide bands of time open for things to happen. Not that they often do, but by golly I am ready when they are. I don't like making plans way ahead of time, the more spur of the moment the better. Last minute shopping with a friend, dinner out with coworkers, I'm game.
I think we're happy with our little routines. It's comforting to know that on Saturday afternoon, you'll be going to the same restaurant with the same people every week. It might sound boring, but Chinese food on Friday night is an exciting part of my life these days. I think maybe we enjoy the routine because we're all a bit OCD, and the routine keeps it at bay. We feel in control when we can count on going to the grocery store on Saturday mornings, when we look forward to going to church every Wednesday night.
Unfortunately, bad habits are also routines. Like leaving the dishes in the sink, saying we'll do them tomorrow. Then we complain tomorrow when the dishes are in the sink. I try to break those habits, but I usually just replace them with something else. I hate laundry, but I somehow manage to always find time on Sunday afternoons while watching a Nascar race or a football game to working in the weekly chore of washing, drying and folding. The putting away part is the worst.
We love our programmed lives, but we should always be ready for change. That new restaurant isn't going to succeed if we never try it out. Those old shoes won't get replaced if we never hit the mall. And how will anyone ever tell us how nice we look with our new shoes if we don't go dancing sometime? Maybe even a new haircut or color to shake things up. I feel almost rebellious that I'm letting my fingernails grow out, for the first time in years. It's driving me crazy, but I'm doing it!
Lesson Sixteen: Are you pre-planned? Do you change plans suddenly when something new and interesting comes up, or do you go strictly by your daily planner? Have you ever just said "screw it" and skipped doing something so you could catch an afternoon movie all by yourself? Why not? Think about the way you've planned your life, and don't let yourself miss out on the fun things that pop into it. Live a little. Nah. live a LOT.
714 to go...
Yesterday was an awesome day, talking about love. Congrats again to the happy couple Brandi and Charles. While you're celebrating the start of a new life together, the rest of us are plodding along with our regularly scheduled programming....
Life does seem programmed at times. We get up, go to work, come home, do some chores, have dinner, take a shower, go to sleep, get up got to work.... well, you get the picture. It doesn't have to be that way, but it's nice and comfortable for most of us. We like routine.
I have a lot of routine, but I don't think I have a programmed life. I leave wide bands of time open for things to happen. Not that they often do, but by golly I am ready when they are. I don't like making plans way ahead of time, the more spur of the moment the better. Last minute shopping with a friend, dinner out with coworkers, I'm game.
I think we're happy with our little routines. It's comforting to know that on Saturday afternoon, you'll be going to the same restaurant with the same people every week. It might sound boring, but Chinese food on Friday night is an exciting part of my life these days. I think maybe we enjoy the routine because we're all a bit OCD, and the routine keeps it at bay. We feel in control when we can count on going to the grocery store on Saturday mornings, when we look forward to going to church every Wednesday night.
Unfortunately, bad habits are also routines. Like leaving the dishes in the sink, saying we'll do them tomorrow. Then we complain tomorrow when the dishes are in the sink. I try to break those habits, but I usually just replace them with something else. I hate laundry, but I somehow manage to always find time on Sunday afternoons while watching a Nascar race or a football game to working in the weekly chore of washing, drying and folding. The putting away part is the worst.
We love our programmed lives, but we should always be ready for change. That new restaurant isn't going to succeed if we never try it out. Those old shoes won't get replaced if we never hit the mall. And how will anyone ever tell us how nice we look with our new shoes if we don't go dancing sometime? Maybe even a new haircut or color to shake things up. I feel almost rebellious that I'm letting my fingernails grow out, for the first time in years. It's driving me crazy, but I'm doing it!
Lesson Sixteen: Are you pre-planned? Do you change plans suddenly when something new and interesting comes up, or do you go strictly by your daily planner? Have you ever just said "screw it" and skipped doing something so you could catch an afternoon movie all by yourself? Why not? Think about the way you've planned your life, and don't let yourself miss out on the fun things that pop into it. Live a little. Nah. live a LOT.
714 to go...
Friday, September 26, 2014
Day 15
Day 15...
Every day is special. Some days are more special than others. Today is special. But not as special for me as it is for my dear friend Brandi. Something special is happening for her today.
She's acting on love. She's taking the final step forward in her relationship with Charles. They're getting married today. They are ALL IN.
One of the things people liked about my previous writing was some of the things I've written about being ALL IN. I've discussed it at length on my Facebook page. It's not just something I say, it truly is how I live my life. It's the only way I know how.
Having faced the fires that God thought I could put out (I'm glad HE has faith in me, I have certainly doubted myself), I can stand today because I was always ALL IN. I've never been able to do things halfway, no such thing as half-measures, 50%, "good enough". If you want the desired result, you have to put in the required effort.
Loving someone is actually pretty easy. You just have to let it happen. You can't pre-judge them. You can't compare them to anyone else: it's not fair to them or to you. You have to allow them to show you the full potential you can reach together, without pain from the past coloring the future. All you have to do is be ALL IN. I can say it's easy because I've done it. More than once. Hopefully again. Loving someone is easy. There, I said it again.
I've watched my friend Brandi grow up, albeit from a distance. I've known her nearly 10 years, but we've never met. I've seen her grow from a young woman who was starting her first real job, having her first serious relationship. I've watched her through the loss of loved ones and worldly possessions, watched her dust herself off after that relationship was over. I've been there when she cried, when she laughed, and when she found love. I saw her open herself to new people and things, and smiled to myself as I read her Facebook posts along the way. The whole time, I knew she was ALL IN.
Earlier this year, she picked herself up from a life-changing event, wiped off her knees and started over. Never expecting to be where she ended up, but she's not a quitter. Then along came this person from her past, a soldier that found his way back into her life, and into her heart. I don't know him either, but he has to be an awesome guy to have found her and made it work. I guess he never stopped looking.
No one ever knows what the future will bring, so the step they take today only start them on the path of a life together. They'll make it work. They did the most difficult part already: finding each other. Remember, loving someone is easy. Finding the one you're supposed to love, that's what's hard.
Lesson Fifteen: I wrote a blog post a few weeks ago about "It's Only Words".... I'm still not sure if my message from it was received, but I'm still optimistic. In my effort to be ALL IN, I did exactly what I meant to do: I laid bare my soul, I opened my life, I gave my best. One can ever only hope that's enough. Have YOU done enough? Are you ALL IN?
Congratulations, Brandi and Charles. I'll wish you lots of luck and much happiness, you already have the love you need to start your journey.
715 to go...
Every day is special. Some days are more special than others. Today is special. But not as special for me as it is for my dear friend Brandi. Something special is happening for her today.
She's acting on love. She's taking the final step forward in her relationship with Charles. They're getting married today. They are ALL IN.
One of the things people liked about my previous writing was some of the things I've written about being ALL IN. I've discussed it at length on my Facebook page. It's not just something I say, it truly is how I live my life. It's the only way I know how.
Having faced the fires that God thought I could put out (I'm glad HE has faith in me, I have certainly doubted myself), I can stand today because I was always ALL IN. I've never been able to do things halfway, no such thing as half-measures, 50%, "good enough". If you want the desired result, you have to put in the required effort.
Loving someone is actually pretty easy. You just have to let it happen. You can't pre-judge them. You can't compare them to anyone else: it's not fair to them or to you. You have to allow them to show you the full potential you can reach together, without pain from the past coloring the future. All you have to do is be ALL IN. I can say it's easy because I've done it. More than once. Hopefully again. Loving someone is easy. There, I said it again.
I've watched my friend Brandi grow up, albeit from a distance. I've known her nearly 10 years, but we've never met. I've seen her grow from a young woman who was starting her first real job, having her first serious relationship. I've watched her through the loss of loved ones and worldly possessions, watched her dust herself off after that relationship was over. I've been there when she cried, when she laughed, and when she found love. I saw her open herself to new people and things, and smiled to myself as I read her Facebook posts along the way. The whole time, I knew she was ALL IN.
Earlier this year, she picked herself up from a life-changing event, wiped off her knees and started over. Never expecting to be where she ended up, but she's not a quitter. Then along came this person from her past, a soldier that found his way back into her life, and into her heart. I don't know him either, but he has to be an awesome guy to have found her and made it work. I guess he never stopped looking.
No one ever knows what the future will bring, so the step they take today only start them on the path of a life together. They'll make it work. They did the most difficult part already: finding each other. Remember, loving someone is easy. Finding the one you're supposed to love, that's what's hard.
Lesson Fifteen: I wrote a blog post a few weeks ago about "It's Only Words".... I'm still not sure if my message from it was received, but I'm still optimistic. In my effort to be ALL IN, I did exactly what I meant to do: I laid bare my soul, I opened my life, I gave my best. One can ever only hope that's enough. Have YOU done enough? Are you ALL IN?
Congratulations, Brandi and Charles. I'll wish you lots of luck and much happiness, you already have the love you need to start your journey.
715 to go...
Thursday, September 25, 2014
Day 14
Day 14...
I've enjoyed the past two days, remembering the people I've met over the years, both the normal and the crazies. Glad to be amongst the crazies, personally. If you're still reading along, I count you there as well. We're in good company.
I've also been thinking about music again. Finding a song to fit your mood isn't that difficult, but finding one that pulls at your heart for years can be. I've got a few that stuck with me, if we're friends on Facebook you've seen some of the favorites posted there.
I'm a Motown fan. The original stuff and the remakes. I think because you can sing along with most of them easily, having heard them so many times over the years. The standards like My Girl and Ain't No Mountain High Enough, everyone can groove to them. Come on, admit it: you've sang them into a hairbrush like in that movie Stepmom. The best love songs are from the Motown days. Marvin Gaye, Let's Get It On. Sexual Healing. Percy Sledge, When A Man Loves A Woman.
The Eagles are also a favorite. Not quite as huge a fan as my pal Joanie, but I know most of the words to most of the songs. I thought they wrote Wasted Time while spying on my life. Which is sad, it was a long time ago and things haven't changed too much. Except I'm working harder NOT to waste time. Peaceful Easy Feelin.... Seven Bridges Road.... good tunes for good times.
Country music is probably my go-to for meaningful songs. Travis Tritt, Can I Trust You With My Heart?, Best of Intentions, really serious lyrics around basic country rhythms. Some good old George Jones like He Stopped Loving Her Today will bring a tear to your eye, if you have even just a little Grinch-sized heart.
If I had to single out one song, just one, that if I could never hear again I'd be very sad about, it would probably be one that I'd never heard until last winter. My dear friend Jethro shared it with me, and I listen to it almost daily. I knew James Blount was "somebody", but this song just.... moves me.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you... Bonfire Heart .
Your mouth is a revolver
Firing bullets in the sky
Your love is like a soldier,
Loyal 'til you die
And I’ve been looking at the stars
For a long, long time
I’ve been putting out fires
All my life
Everybody wants a flame,
They don’t want to get burnt
And today is our turn
Days like these lead to...
Nights like this lead to
Love like ours.
You light the spark in my bonfire heart.
People like us—we don’t
Need that much, just someone that starts,
Starts the spark in our bonfire hearts
This world is getting colder.
Strangers passing by
No one offers you a shoulder.
No one looks you in the eye.
But I’ve been looking at you
For a long, long time
Just trying to break through,
Trying to make you mine
Everybody wants a flame,
They don’t want to get burnt
Well, today is our turn
Days like these lead to...
Nights like this lead to
Love like ours.
You light the spark in my bonfire heart.
People like us—we don’t
Need that much, just someone that starts,
Starts the spark in our bonfire hearts
Lesson Fourteen: Got music? It's something you can hold onto when you need a friend, miss a lover, want to cry and laugh while you're alone. Think about your "songs".... what's on your playlist, and why? Does your music make you happy, or melancholy? Do you choose your music to fit a mood, or does the music choose your mood for you?
716 to go...
I've enjoyed the past two days, remembering the people I've met over the years, both the normal and the crazies. Glad to be amongst the crazies, personally. If you're still reading along, I count you there as well. We're in good company.
I've also been thinking about music again. Finding a song to fit your mood isn't that difficult, but finding one that pulls at your heart for years can be. I've got a few that stuck with me, if we're friends on Facebook you've seen some of the favorites posted there.
I'm a Motown fan. The original stuff and the remakes. I think because you can sing along with most of them easily, having heard them so many times over the years. The standards like My Girl and Ain't No Mountain High Enough, everyone can groove to them. Come on, admit it: you've sang them into a hairbrush like in that movie Stepmom. The best love songs are from the Motown days. Marvin Gaye, Let's Get It On. Sexual Healing. Percy Sledge, When A Man Loves A Woman.
The Eagles are also a favorite. Not quite as huge a fan as my pal Joanie, but I know most of the words to most of the songs. I thought they wrote Wasted Time while spying on my life. Which is sad, it was a long time ago and things haven't changed too much. Except I'm working harder NOT to waste time. Peaceful Easy Feelin.... Seven Bridges Road.... good tunes for good times.
Country music is probably my go-to for meaningful songs. Travis Tritt, Can I Trust You With My Heart?, Best of Intentions, really serious lyrics around basic country rhythms. Some good old George Jones like He Stopped Loving Her Today will bring a tear to your eye, if you have even just a little Grinch-sized heart.
If I had to single out one song, just one, that if I could never hear again I'd be very sad about, it would probably be one that I'd never heard until last winter. My dear friend Jethro shared it with me, and I listen to it almost daily. I knew James Blount was "somebody", but this song just.... moves me.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you... Bonfire Heart .
Your mouth is a revolver
Firing bullets in the sky
Your love is like a soldier,
Loyal 'til you die
And I’ve been looking at the stars
For a long, long time
I’ve been putting out fires
All my life
Everybody wants a flame,
They don’t want to get burnt
And today is our turn
Days like these lead to...
Nights like this lead to
Love like ours.
You light the spark in my bonfire heart.
People like us—we don’t
Need that much, just someone that starts,
Starts the spark in our bonfire hearts
This world is getting colder.
Strangers passing by
No one offers you a shoulder.
No one looks you in the eye.
But I’ve been looking at you
For a long, long time
Just trying to break through,
Trying to make you mine
Everybody wants a flame,
They don’t want to get burnt
Well, today is our turn
Days like these lead to...
Nights like this lead to
Love like ours.
You light the spark in my bonfire heart.
People like us—we don’t
Need that much, just someone that starts,
Starts the spark in our bonfire hearts
Lesson Fourteen: Got music? It's something you can hold onto when you need a friend, miss a lover, want to cry and laugh while you're alone. Think about your "songs".... what's on your playlist, and why? Does your music make you happy, or melancholy? Do you choose your music to fit a mood, or does the music choose your mood for you?
716 to go...
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
Day 13
Day 13...
After a frustating half hour getting Blogger to work, here I am.... Usually I'm done writing by now, hopefully I'm not punch drunk and this makes sense... well, as much as I ever do.
More about friends and freaks today, from more current times.
Real life friends and neighbors, I've had some champs. Not many duds. Myron and Tim, man I miss the times with those guys. We spent many nights at the dirt track in Taylorsville watching Myron be the cheese in the sandwich in turn three. Lots of laughs at Waffle House afterwards, and on weekends when we didn't go racing we had food and played poker at the house. Red Dog Beer, with the cool sayings under the caps, and if you found a new one the bets were on! I was doing some catering back then, so I always had really high class snacks for my low class friends. An ex-wfe or two made things crappy sometimes, but the smoked shrimps and laughing at Tim's mom's dog PeeWee carrying around Tim's drawers from the laundry basket made it fun.
I've been lucky to find a great job outside the aviation field, and great people to go with it. People that are oddly amused by my humor, they still laugh at my jokes after five years. They've also seen me through bad times, and I am grateful for that. We've had some fun times: going out for food and drinks in the hopping town of Lexington, I won't mention who's nickname became Baby Bladder after he went to the bathroom every half hour on one occasion. The haunted trail from HELL back in 2012, there were a few of us that were a little..... tipsy. When you end up with dirty hands, stained knees and a rip in your jeans, you know it was a wild time on the trail. Tequila is our friend though, right?
Then there's the internet friends. My first internet adventures were on the old style bulletin boards and forums. Nascar fans are the best. I made friends with a group of fellow Mr. Excitement Jimmy Spencer fans back in the late 90s, and there's a good sized group of us still together. We had a nice meetup in Bristol, met again in Charlotte. Went on vacation to PA to visit my late friend Mark VG, met even more of the group and had a blast with our friend Redbird. Trout farm my friends Joan and Strap work at was gorgeous, and right near where I spent time as a kid.
During the camping event in Charlotte I did find out that people with money can be jerks, and you only think you heard the worst karoke in the world: we did that Saturday night, unless you were in the same campground as us, you missed the worst ever. And my friend Belinda will do ANYTHING for me, she dressed up as a fairy and let me take her picture. It was the costume for Skurt Busch, our cardboard mascot. We all hated him, you see, so we mocked him. Lots of pics of all of us at various racetracks flipping off his hauler. I even got Jimmy to sign him once. We were on tv on Nascar Raceday a number of times with him, thanks to our pal Rutledge Woods.
Political friends met on the internet ROCK. Had the chance to meet two groups already, looking forward to more. Excellent times, good memories. Now if someone will just listen to us and straighten the country out, it'll be all good....
Lesson Thirteen: The older memories become, the more you realize just how much fun life is. Think back on recent memories, and you get smiles. Older ones, belly laughs. Do you miss friends you've lost touch with? Why don't you try and find one? Social media, baby. Look for someone you didn't realize you missed until we started this journey. Make sure it's not the crazy lady who wore pantyhose under her shorts to a Nascar race in August, though. Yikes.
717 to go...
After a frustating half hour getting Blogger to work, here I am.... Usually I'm done writing by now, hopefully I'm not punch drunk and this makes sense... well, as much as I ever do.
More about friends and freaks today, from more current times.
Real life friends and neighbors, I've had some champs. Not many duds. Myron and Tim, man I miss the times with those guys. We spent many nights at the dirt track in Taylorsville watching Myron be the cheese in the sandwich in turn three. Lots of laughs at Waffle House afterwards, and on weekends when we didn't go racing we had food and played poker at the house. Red Dog Beer, with the cool sayings under the caps, and if you found a new one the bets were on! I was doing some catering back then, so I always had really high class snacks for my low class friends. An ex-wfe or two made things crappy sometimes, but the smoked shrimps and laughing at Tim's mom's dog PeeWee carrying around Tim's drawers from the laundry basket made it fun.
I've been lucky to find a great job outside the aviation field, and great people to go with it. People that are oddly amused by my humor, they still laugh at my jokes after five years. They've also seen me through bad times, and I am grateful for that. We've had some fun times: going out for food and drinks in the hopping town of Lexington, I won't mention who's nickname became Baby Bladder after he went to the bathroom every half hour on one occasion. The haunted trail from HELL back in 2012, there were a few of us that were a little..... tipsy. When you end up with dirty hands, stained knees and a rip in your jeans, you know it was a wild time on the trail. Tequila is our friend though, right?
Then there's the internet friends. My first internet adventures were on the old style bulletin boards and forums. Nascar fans are the best. I made friends with a group of fellow Mr. Excitement Jimmy Spencer fans back in the late 90s, and there's a good sized group of us still together. We had a nice meetup in Bristol, met again in Charlotte. Went on vacation to PA to visit my late friend Mark VG, met even more of the group and had a blast with our friend Redbird. Trout farm my friends Joan and Strap work at was gorgeous, and right near where I spent time as a kid.
During the camping event in Charlotte I did find out that people with money can be jerks, and you only think you heard the worst karoke in the world: we did that Saturday night, unless you were in the same campground as us, you missed the worst ever. And my friend Belinda will do ANYTHING for me, she dressed up as a fairy and let me take her picture. It was the costume for Skurt Busch, our cardboard mascot. We all hated him, you see, so we mocked him. Lots of pics of all of us at various racetracks flipping off his hauler. I even got Jimmy to sign him once. We were on tv on Nascar Raceday a number of times with him, thanks to our pal Rutledge Woods.
Political friends met on the internet ROCK. Had the chance to meet two groups already, looking forward to more. Excellent times, good memories. Now if someone will just listen to us and straighten the country out, it'll be all good....
Lesson Thirteen: The older memories become, the more you realize just how much fun life is. Think back on recent memories, and you get smiles. Older ones, belly laughs. Do you miss friends you've lost touch with? Why don't you try and find one? Social media, baby. Look for someone you didn't realize you missed until we started this journey. Make sure it's not the crazy lady who wore pantyhose under her shorts to a Nascar race in August, though. Yikes.
717 to go...
Tuesday, September 23, 2014
Day 12
Day 12...
Back to a regular format of sorts, we're going to skip from our prompts from Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah and talk a little more personally. Yeah, I know, you thought I was getting personally involved already? Not quite as much as I planned, so here goes...
"It was a dark and stormy night"... no, wait. That's a scene from Peanuts.
"And they lived happily ever after".... dang. Fairytale ending.
Who knew writing could be so... easy? I guess when you have a lot of random thoughts, along with a lot of life experiences you're not afraid to share, combined with the internet, it is somewhat easy. Even more so when you're not concerned how many people are reading, as long as one other person does I am fine with writing more.
I was thinking earlier about how it takes all kinds of people to make this "life" thing work. I've been lucky in that I've known a wide variety of people in my lifetime. School, work, hobbies: I've made friends from each that I am still close with, and there's some I'd run screaming from if I ever saw them again.
School friends? Not so much. I got along well with everyone (I think?) since I was the Class Clown.Yeah, imagine that. One hundred and thirty two people in our graduating class, and I got 130 votes for female Class Clown. Not too shabby, people even then thought I was humorous. I remember getting the picture made for the yearbook. Robin Ferrell, a preacher's son, and me. We posed in the men's bathroom, I stood on top of the toilet in the last stall and he sat on my shoulders, and my crocheted Mr. Bill doll sat on my head. LOVE me some Mr. Bill.
Work friends: yeah, some keepers and some creepers. Still friends with the kids of the people my Grandma Jarvis worked for back in the 70s, I worked there in the summers and then after high school for a few years. There was one kinda crazy woman we worked with, Vanessa something.... she once asked us if we had any old false teeth laying around at home (WTH?) coz she wanted to pull one out and replace one she was missing from her partial. Yeah, not looking her up ever.
Facebook helped me find some friends from my Broyhill furniture days. Girls I played softball with, guys on the company team I kept score for and helped coach. The kids loved those days, they made friends with the other players kids and Mike is even still in touch with one or two of them I think. We had a blast at the company tournaments, LOVED the year the dummy in HR gave me a signed check that was blank so we could go to lunch wherever. Western Steer in Lenoir, where I convinced the cashier to write it for $40 over the cost of the meals because it was all the money the company gave us for the day. So we went and bought beer later. Another crazy chick from that place too: the woman who brought unbaked Brown and Serve Rolls to every company meal. Really?
Mountain Air Cargo days.... I just can't quit you people. Made a lot of friends there, still in touch with many of them. Good times on the lake with Robin and Cindy and whatever pilots/mechanics were in town for training. Nights out on the town with Mrs. Brockman's little Peter, Rob Butler before he hit the lotto, Tim Bastian of aerobatic fame, Frankie the Stud Proctor. All kinds of fun, in spite of the occasional complaint from management when people showed up hung over. Hey, they're adults, not our fault they couldn't handle their booze. Halloween parties almost every year, and the company Christmas parties were LEGEND. After-party water gun fight in the hallway at the Adams Mark, seeing a VP chasing a billing clerk around while he was in his boxers and her in her nightie? Good times, but we got asked not to come back. Fuddy duddies. The crazy man there? Had to be the weekend Maintenance Controller. No name, but everyone knew old Bill was loony. I'll never forget the "guy with a machete and an automatic weapon" that he told us about on a Monday, which turned out to be a drunk squirrel hunter with a knife and a shotgun, poor guy got lost and showed up at the airport. Bet Bill scared him worse than he scared Bill.
Piedmont Aviation. God, I love you people. I miss you every day. Well, most of you. There's a few jerks still around, lots of good people too though. That Arnold Booth guy, Milton, Dean-o, Petree. Miss the ones that left since I did, but I still stay in touch with you. Markus, Sweets, Schwartzie, Andy McBaker, Hudson Hawk. God knows half the highlights were from Don Allen. We could tell stories for days about him. He wasn't crazy, but he was nuts.
That's just a few of the tales from my earlier years, I'll save some good stuff about my current job and the friends I've met through racing and the internet for tomorrow.
Lesson 12: Never take for granted the friendships you made over the years. And with any luck, your experiences also taught you which weirdos to cross the street to avoid.
718 to go....
Back to a regular format of sorts, we're going to skip from our prompts from Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah and talk a little more personally. Yeah, I know, you thought I was getting personally involved already? Not quite as much as I planned, so here goes...
"It was a dark and stormy night"... no, wait. That's a scene from Peanuts.
"And they lived happily ever after".... dang. Fairytale ending.
Who knew writing could be so... easy? I guess when you have a lot of random thoughts, along with a lot of life experiences you're not afraid to share, combined with the internet, it is somewhat easy. Even more so when you're not concerned how many people are reading, as long as one other person does I am fine with writing more.
I was thinking earlier about how it takes all kinds of people to make this "life" thing work. I've been lucky in that I've known a wide variety of people in my lifetime. School, work, hobbies: I've made friends from each that I am still close with, and there's some I'd run screaming from if I ever saw them again.
School friends? Not so much. I got along well with everyone (I think?) since I was the Class Clown.Yeah, imagine that. One hundred and thirty two people in our graduating class, and I got 130 votes for female Class Clown. Not too shabby, people even then thought I was humorous. I remember getting the picture made for the yearbook. Robin Ferrell, a preacher's son, and me. We posed in the men's bathroom, I stood on top of the toilet in the last stall and he sat on my shoulders, and my crocheted Mr. Bill doll sat on my head. LOVE me some Mr. Bill.
Work friends: yeah, some keepers and some creepers. Still friends with the kids of the people my Grandma Jarvis worked for back in the 70s, I worked there in the summers and then after high school for a few years. There was one kinda crazy woman we worked with, Vanessa something.... she once asked us if we had any old false teeth laying around at home (WTH?) coz she wanted to pull one out and replace one she was missing from her partial. Yeah, not looking her up ever.
Facebook helped me find some friends from my Broyhill furniture days. Girls I played softball with, guys on the company team I kept score for and helped coach. The kids loved those days, they made friends with the other players kids and Mike is even still in touch with one or two of them I think. We had a blast at the company tournaments, LOVED the year the dummy in HR gave me a signed check that was blank so we could go to lunch wherever. Western Steer in Lenoir, where I convinced the cashier to write it for $40 over the cost of the meals because it was all the money the company gave us for the day. So we went and bought beer later. Another crazy chick from that place too: the woman who brought unbaked Brown and Serve Rolls to every company meal. Really?
Mountain Air Cargo days.... I just can't quit you people. Made a lot of friends there, still in touch with many of them. Good times on the lake with Robin and Cindy and whatever pilots/mechanics were in town for training. Nights out on the town with Mrs. Brockman's little Peter, Rob Butler before he hit the lotto, Tim Bastian of aerobatic fame, Frankie the Stud Proctor. All kinds of fun, in spite of the occasional complaint from management when people showed up hung over. Hey, they're adults, not our fault they couldn't handle their booze. Halloween parties almost every year, and the company Christmas parties were LEGEND. After-party water gun fight in the hallway at the Adams Mark, seeing a VP chasing a billing clerk around while he was in his boxers and her in her nightie? Good times, but we got asked not to come back. Fuddy duddies. The crazy man there? Had to be the weekend Maintenance Controller. No name, but everyone knew old Bill was loony. I'll never forget the "guy with a machete and an automatic weapon" that he told us about on a Monday, which turned out to be a drunk squirrel hunter with a knife and a shotgun, poor guy got lost and showed up at the airport. Bet Bill scared him worse than he scared Bill.
Piedmont Aviation. God, I love you people. I miss you every day. Well, most of you. There's a few jerks still around, lots of good people too though. That Arnold Booth guy, Milton, Dean-o, Petree. Miss the ones that left since I did, but I still stay in touch with you. Markus, Sweets, Schwartzie, Andy McBaker, Hudson Hawk. God knows half the highlights were from Don Allen. We could tell stories for days about him. He wasn't crazy, but he was nuts.
That's just a few of the tales from my earlier years, I'll save some good stuff about my current job and the friends I've met through racing and the internet for tomorrow.
Lesson 12: Never take for granted the friendships you made over the years. And with any luck, your experiences also taught you which weirdos to cross the street to avoid.
718 to go....
Monday, September 22, 2014
Day 11
Day 11...
From Illusions: The simplest questions are the most profound: Where were you born? Where is your home? Where are you going? What are you doing? Think about these once in a while, and watch your answers change.
We've talked about the first three questions above the past few days. Have you seen how your answers are different now than they might've been five years ago? Twenty years ago?
The last question might be the one that changes the most. "What are you doing?" Sometimes the answer is "heck if I know!" And how strange that it can actually be true.
I'm a pretty spontaneous person. I don't make long range plans, don/t like "to do" lists at all. I like being able to say yes when someone calls with last minute events, without having to plan around other things. "What are you doing?" is a pretty easy "nothing" for me most of the time.
Life isn't always easy to arrange so you are doing "nothing." As a child, you have nothing but free time. Filling it up with play is easy to do. Then as a teenager, you become interested in sports, the opposite sex, school activities, it gets more difficult. By the time college rolls around, your day is pretty well planned. Then there's usually marriage and kids, and there went any hope of free time for the next 20 years. An empty nest is something many people can't wait to have.
Sometimes you kick the little birds out and they come back. Then you find yourself as a grandparent, helping them with daycare needs, running errands while they work, and the cycle has repeated itself. I have a retired friend that says she doesn't know how she worked and had hobbies, much less if she'd had kids. Now she finally has time for herself, and wonders how everything got done before she retired. Fairies, I bet. I'm still waiting on mine.
Right now, I'm watching football. Typing this blog post. Listening to the rain. Wondering if the dogs can possibly wait til after the rain to go out. Hoping my hair dries before I go to be, else I look a bag lady tomorrow. What I'm "doing" is pretty uneventful. Exactly how I like it. Unless you hear about me on the evening news, it was a good weekend.
What you "do" for a living hopefully something you love. The best job in the world might not pay much, but if it's something you love, it's awesome. I'd probably own a small restaurant where I could cook for just a few dozen people each night, taking time to serve them something I cooked with love. That'd be my perfect job. Probably wouldn't make a lot of money, but I'd really be happy making them happy.
Lesson Eleven: Are you doing what you want to be right now? Or are you slaving away, chasing the almighty dollar? Even if you catch it, will you have time to do what you want with it? If you slow down, take life a little easier, love a little harder, work a little smarter, don't stress over things, will that make your life better? Will you and those you love do things together? Isn't making memories better than making money?
719 to go...
From Illusions: The simplest questions are the most profound: Where were you born? Where is your home? Where are you going? What are you doing? Think about these once in a while, and watch your answers change.
We've talked about the first three questions above the past few days. Have you seen how your answers are different now than they might've been five years ago? Twenty years ago?
The last question might be the one that changes the most. "What are you doing?" Sometimes the answer is "heck if I know!" And how strange that it can actually be true.
I'm a pretty spontaneous person. I don't make long range plans, don/t like "to do" lists at all. I like being able to say yes when someone calls with last minute events, without having to plan around other things. "What are you doing?" is a pretty easy "nothing" for me most of the time.
Life isn't always easy to arrange so you are doing "nothing." As a child, you have nothing but free time. Filling it up with play is easy to do. Then as a teenager, you become interested in sports, the opposite sex, school activities, it gets more difficult. By the time college rolls around, your day is pretty well planned. Then there's usually marriage and kids, and there went any hope of free time for the next 20 years. An empty nest is something many people can't wait to have.
Sometimes you kick the little birds out and they come back. Then you find yourself as a grandparent, helping them with daycare needs, running errands while they work, and the cycle has repeated itself. I have a retired friend that says she doesn't know how she worked and had hobbies, much less if she'd had kids. Now she finally has time for herself, and wonders how everything got done before she retired. Fairies, I bet. I'm still waiting on mine.
Right now, I'm watching football. Typing this blog post. Listening to the rain. Wondering if the dogs can possibly wait til after the rain to go out. Hoping my hair dries before I go to be, else I look a bag lady tomorrow. What I'm "doing" is pretty uneventful. Exactly how I like it. Unless you hear about me on the evening news, it was a good weekend.
What you "do" for a living hopefully something you love. The best job in the world might not pay much, but if it's something you love, it's awesome. I'd probably own a small restaurant where I could cook for just a few dozen people each night, taking time to serve them something I cooked with love. That'd be my perfect job. Probably wouldn't make a lot of money, but I'd really be happy making them happy.
Lesson Eleven: Are you doing what you want to be right now? Or are you slaving away, chasing the almighty dollar? Even if you catch it, will you have time to do what you want with it? If you slow down, take life a little easier, love a little harder, work a little smarter, don't stress over things, will that make your life better? Will you and those you love do things together? Isn't making memories better than making money?
719 to go...
Sunday, September 21, 2014
Day 10
Day 10...
Woohoo, double digits! Thanks for sticking with me on the journey.
Moving on to the third part of the quote from Illusions: Where are you going?
I thought I had that one answered more than once. I thought my die cast, my role set. Fate intervened, so here I am at 52, starting a whole new phase of life. I'm sure everyone has felt secure in their present, having survived their past, but you also have to be looking out the windshield and avoid those glances in the rearview mirror. We are who we are today because of things that shaped us, usually in spite of them and not because we gave in to them.
I was content in my other roles. I guess. The kids grown, I wasn't as involved in their lives as before, but Kathie not being a part of it now means I'm going another direction. Mike's too much like me and doesn't need "mothered", so I have to resist the urge to harass him. In particular on the grandparent front. Someday, I reckon. Or not. No pressure, kiddo. LOL. No, really. I'll live through the stories my friends tell me about theirs.
My role as a spouse is now past. After almost 22 years, I find it easier to adjust to that than I expected. I have accepted that I couldn't have done anything else to show my love, and if he didn't know I loved him then that was his weakness, not mine. I was ALL IN til the end. Now I try and figure out how to cook for one, where the damn leak under the sink is coming from, and why can't the stupid UPS guy deliver things right so I don't have to carry heavy stuff very far. All good, life doesn't deal you cards you can't play. Doesn't mean I can't look forward to maybe someday sharing things with someone new, if that's how the hand plays out. I don't know where tomorrow leads me, but I know I am driving instead of riding shotgun from now on.
I think for now, I'm going.... to be me. A bit of new me, some of the old will always remain, but going for a change in look more than attitude. Changing my hair, trying different clothing styles outside my comfort zone, trying to get in shape by actually working at it. I was treading water a long time, living to make other people happy at my own peril sometimes. I'm a giver, a lover, a friend, and I need to take time to think about me as well. You can still have the shirt off my back, but I need to run to Walmart and buy another one. Or eBay. :)
I'm also going to do more things I put on the back burner. We all do things for the ones we love, things we think they want us to do. And you know what? TRUE STORY: DRINK! Sometimes the only thing they want is US. The nice house, the new car, the money in the bank? They don't want any of that. All they want is for us to be beside them when they go to sleep, and still there beside them when they wake up. Day to day stuff, like fixing breakfast together, cuddling on the couch during a movie neither of you is really watching.A life shared is a life well lived. All the money in the world won't take the place of TIME.
Writing more is just one of the things I put aside to be a spouse. Learning the guitar FOR REAL THIS TIME. Doing more artsy stuff, I have the supplies and never made the time for painting and needlework I love. Traveling to see friends and family out of state: I seriously need to see my Pop and sister, and my friends and family in PA. Plus all the Facebook people I love so much, I have lots of beers to buy for the Moron Horde. In due time, I'll get to all these things and more.
Not really a bucket list but I've had a mantra of "stuff" I want to accomplish. Had plans to do it with someone I was going to grow old with, and still have the same plans. Not afraid to try them alone, but hopeful I'll still find someone to hold hands with as we watch the sun glisten off the Taj Mahal. See giraffes run free in Africa. Stand in the shadow of the Great Pyramid. Walk on the Great Wall of China. Drink real Russian vodka in a little restaurant opposite St. Basil's Cathedral. Kiss the Blarney Stone. Get our picture made with mo'ai on Easter Island. Feel the water spray from Victoria Falls.
We as humans have what seems as never enough time to do the things we want, be with the ones we love, doing the things we enjoy. You can't replace an hour of love with a gift card. You can never get back that baseball game of your grandson's that you missed, or your grandaughter's first dance recital. The moment your son marries his soulmate? You won't get that back as you sit behind your desk, pulling some overtime so you can pay down the bills quicker. Spend the time with someone you love, doing something that you love. The return on that investment is immeasurable.
Lesson 10: Do you know where you're going? Have you thought about if your life now became impossible where you'd go, what you'd do? Are there things you want to see and do that are just dreams? Do you have a plan to make them a reality? Have you put your own feelings aside, thinking you were helping by working harder and playing less, when you were really just losing time with those you love? Can you trust that you're making the right moves now for the future, or just doing what you've been taught needs done? Let your hair down. Or color it. Live a little. Nah, live a lot. Love a lot.
720 to go...
Woohoo, double digits! Thanks for sticking with me on the journey.
Moving on to the third part of the quote from Illusions: Where are you going?
I thought I had that one answered more than once. I thought my die cast, my role set. Fate intervened, so here I am at 52, starting a whole new phase of life. I'm sure everyone has felt secure in their present, having survived their past, but you also have to be looking out the windshield and avoid those glances in the rearview mirror. We are who we are today because of things that shaped us, usually in spite of them and not because we gave in to them.
I was content in my other roles. I guess. The kids grown, I wasn't as involved in their lives as before, but Kathie not being a part of it now means I'm going another direction. Mike's too much like me and doesn't need "mothered", so I have to resist the urge to harass him. In particular on the grandparent front. Someday, I reckon. Or not. No pressure, kiddo. LOL. No, really. I'll live through the stories my friends tell me about theirs.
My role as a spouse is now past. After almost 22 years, I find it easier to adjust to that than I expected. I have accepted that I couldn't have done anything else to show my love, and if he didn't know I loved him then that was his weakness, not mine. I was ALL IN til the end. Now I try and figure out how to cook for one, where the damn leak under the sink is coming from, and why can't the stupid UPS guy deliver things right so I don't have to carry heavy stuff very far. All good, life doesn't deal you cards you can't play. Doesn't mean I can't look forward to maybe someday sharing things with someone new, if that's how the hand plays out. I don't know where tomorrow leads me, but I know I am driving instead of riding shotgun from now on.
I think for now, I'm going.... to be me. A bit of new me, some of the old will always remain, but going for a change in look more than attitude. Changing my hair, trying different clothing styles outside my comfort zone, trying to get in shape by actually working at it. I was treading water a long time, living to make other people happy at my own peril sometimes. I'm a giver, a lover, a friend, and I need to take time to think about me as well. You can still have the shirt off my back, but I need to run to Walmart and buy another one. Or eBay. :)
I'm also going to do more things I put on the back burner. We all do things for the ones we love, things we think they want us to do. And you know what? TRUE STORY: DRINK! Sometimes the only thing they want is US. The nice house, the new car, the money in the bank? They don't want any of that. All they want is for us to be beside them when they go to sleep, and still there beside them when they wake up. Day to day stuff, like fixing breakfast together, cuddling on the couch during a movie neither of you is really watching.A life shared is a life well lived. All the money in the world won't take the place of TIME.
Writing more is just one of the things I put aside to be a spouse. Learning the guitar FOR REAL THIS TIME. Doing more artsy stuff, I have the supplies and never made the time for painting and needlework I love. Traveling to see friends and family out of state: I seriously need to see my Pop and sister, and my friends and family in PA. Plus all the Facebook people I love so much, I have lots of beers to buy for the Moron Horde. In due time, I'll get to all these things and more.
Not really a bucket list but I've had a mantra of "stuff" I want to accomplish. Had plans to do it with someone I was going to grow old with, and still have the same plans. Not afraid to try them alone, but hopeful I'll still find someone to hold hands with as we watch the sun glisten off the Taj Mahal. See giraffes run free in Africa. Stand in the shadow of the Great Pyramid. Walk on the Great Wall of China. Drink real Russian vodka in a little restaurant opposite St. Basil's Cathedral. Kiss the Blarney Stone. Get our picture made with mo'ai on Easter Island. Feel the water spray from Victoria Falls.
We as humans have what seems as never enough time to do the things we want, be with the ones we love, doing the things we enjoy. You can't replace an hour of love with a gift card. You can never get back that baseball game of your grandson's that you missed, or your grandaughter's first dance recital. The moment your son marries his soulmate? You won't get that back as you sit behind your desk, pulling some overtime so you can pay down the bills quicker. Spend the time with someone you love, doing something that you love. The return on that investment is immeasurable.
Lesson 10: Do you know where you're going? Have you thought about if your life now became impossible where you'd go, what you'd do? Are there things you want to see and do that are just dreams? Do you have a plan to make them a reality? Have you put your own feelings aside, thinking you were helping by working harder and playing less, when you were really just losing time with those you love? Can you trust that you're making the right moves now for the future, or just doing what you've been taught needs done? Let your hair down. Or color it. Live a little. Nah, live a lot. Love a lot.
720 to go...
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