ALL IN

Day 31. ALL IN.

Yes, those two words again. Worth repeating, often and with feeling. Like a good song, you can't hear them enough.

There are many pieces to life. It's hard work being ALL IN thirty different things as once. We sometimes have to prioritize what's important to us, shuffle things around, work a little harder, but we do it. There are things that need more hands on, more effort, but they're worth it. Friendships, love, those are the most important.

I've got a fair amount of friends. I don't count acquaintances, people I know but don't really interact with daily. I've got high school friends from 30+ years ago, work friends from the last 25 years, internet friends I''ve met, all people I know in the physical world. I also have a large number of virtual friends. A large number are like-minded politically, some share my love of racing and animals. Some people cross into several groups. I can't say I'm not as close to some of the virtual friends as I am the physical ones.

Virtual friends is sometimes easier. You don't have to feel the same hurt when they say or do something upsetting, since you won't be actually seeing them while you're upset. You can run the risk of saying something to them that you might not say in real life, since you don't have any "skin in the game" and won't be running into them at the grocery store and having a weird moment. I really try not to treat them any different, but it does happen. I know I feel more strongly about some things in the physical world that might upset me more but I would never say them. I don't need the drama or pain, it's not worth the risk. Life goes on.

Some people take friendships differently. They walk a tightrope: making sure not to offend anyone, keeping their discussions away from controversial topics, hiding their true selves because they don't want to upset things. Sometimes they figure out people aren't worth hiding yourself from. Remember that talk about walls protecting but also isolating you from a week or so ago? True with friendships as well. You can pick and choose them, people come and go in and out of our lives. We control that too, if you remember the lesson from a few weeks ago. It's up to us who we are ALL IN with, and who we cut loose.

It's the same with love. Sometimes we think we've found "the one" we can't live without. That can happen, but sometimes we're just breaking the eggs before we get to make the omelet. Sometimes years are spent with "the one" that really wasn't, and we eventually wake up to see we need to move on. If we're lucky, we find the real "one" sooner rather than later. Because time is short, we have to keep our eyes and our hearts open. We have to be ready to accept it when it comes along, and allow ourselves to be ALL IN again.

I've watched a young woman learn that lesson. I saw her finish high school, go on to college, find her first relationship. As she grew into an adult, she also outgrew that relationship. As good as it might've once been, it became lukewarm. And everyone knows you can't make anything with lukewarm. It has to be hot, glowing red, "en fuego" if it's going to last. Lukewarm grows cold way too soon, and nobody likes cold. I watched my young friend find new love. New love that was exciting, fun, interesting, ON FIRE. There she was again, ALL IN. And guess what? He's "the one". And Saturday, he asked her to marry him.

Of course, she said yes. Because she's ALL IN. And he is, too.

Congratulations, Kayce and Nathan. You've taken the first step in your life together. Don't ever take each other for granted, don't ever stop saying "I love you," and never be less than ALL IN.

Lesson Thirty One: Do you value some friendships above others? Does it hurt differently when real world and virtual friends do things that bother you, or do you let them both go easily? Think about what's important to you, what makes you be ALL IN with the people in your life, and don't ever hang onto anything that's not good for you.

699 to go...