Redemption

Day 33. Redemption.

I didn't really have a plan for today's post until early this morning. I normally write at night, but couldn't find two thoughts to put together for some reason. After sleeping well, I think I might have something.

Usually when we think of redemption, it's in a religious context. Having made the changes necessary to save our souls. Confessing our sins and making atonement. Me being different than most people I know, I think of personal redemption with the people we care about most. The people we usually hurt the most.

Humans fail. Sometimes we fail each other, sometimes ourselves. Usually we're aware of our failures, as most people don't have a problem pointing out the mistakes of others. I've always tried my best to give praise when possible, because I know I don't mind letting someone know when they've failed me. I wasn't always that way: I covered up a lot of bad feelings when I was disappointed in the past, and it got me exactly nowhere.

Honesty is the only way we can deal with one another. I tend to be brutally honest, to the point of being mean sometimes. I just don't think we do anyone any favors by sugarcoating things. Especially when we're not going to get over them easily. I've learned how to be a little gentler in the past few years, maybe I'm mellowing in my old age. Or I've realized that I'd like someone to be gentler with me when I fail them.

As we learn about the people in our lives, we find out the things they expect of us. They don't always tell us, we often have to figure them out for ourselves. Which is why we fail. Those unspoken expectations, the unreachable ones: that's why people get disappointed in each other. If only we'd just say "I really wish you wouldn't leave your dirty socks in the floor,", instead of getting angry about it over and over. It could be that simple.

I have expectations of myself as well. I demand certain things, and I'm usually disappointed in myself more often as I am disappointed in other people. I know what I'm capable of, and need to kick my own butt quite often. But sometimes, I come through. I redeem myself and find the courage to go on another day. Another week. Another month.

I'm hoping these writings meet your expectations. I hope I've redeemed myself if I've failed you. If not, I hope you let me know so I can work on it.

Lesson Thirty Three: Do you let people know what you expect of them? Do they know they did a good job, or do you only acknowledge failures? Do you sometimes give up before you start something, believing you will fail? Think about the people you may have disappointed, and work to make things better. Realize you may have failed them by not letting them know you were disappointed.

697 to go...