Love

Day 89. Love.

The most mangled word in most languages. Right up there with God. So many definitions, so many different meanings based on context. Yet in the end, the very thing we are judged on was our ability to love those with whom we surrounded ourselves.

The things we own, the places we live, the events of our lives: empty settings. How easy to chase after settings, and forget diamonds! The only thing that matters, at the end of a stay on earth, is how well did we love, what was the quality of our love? Richard Bach: One.

We work hard to have a home, cars, big screen televisions. And the only thing that matters in the end is love. I'd like to think I've done a good job at loving. I've had lots of practice, I've had and still have some amazing people in my life. It does take practice, because loving different people in different ways, is hard.

Love of family. Some of the hardest times I've ever experienced were trying to love family. Blood family. Made more difficult by one parent who hated the world more than themselves, I certainly had a messed up definition of how that was supposed to go. Determined not to make the same mistakes, I bottled up some of it for my later years, and brought it out when the coast was clear. Sometimes it wasn't obvious that I loved them, but I hope they never doubted I did. Just had to wait til things calmed down to open the lid again. Yes, I was scared of being hurt. Til I realized I was the one who could allow it.

Love of friends. A bit easier than family, but harder to stay in touch with. School friends, work friends. All adults that have their own lives. Thanks to the internet, I've found some special ones again. Just last week, I reconnected with one from almost 20 years ago. We met at work, became friends outside of work. We played Rook together most Friday nights for a few years, then they moved away. Now she's back in the area on her own, I'm here by myself, so we're planning to get together in person again to catch up. Lots of stories to tell, I'm sure the tears will flow. The love never stopped. Like with the rest of you miscreants. I don't tell you I love you lightly: I do mean it.

Love of partner. One I never thought I'd have to work for again at this age. Been there, done that, twice for extended periods. Also a difficult kind of love, as the pressures of day to day live weigh heavy on a relationship. You by now know my saying "ALL IN," so you know how I approached this one. Good or bad, I was there. Giving all I had. Hoping I got everything in return, but like most of us I was never sure. I knew it wasn't a 50/50 thing, but dang, I thought it was at least 70/30. All I ever wanted was to be the one that made him smile, and I think I did that. Both times. 


Lesson Eighty Nine: Have you loved well? Do you accept the love of others easily? Think about those you love, and remember to tell them and show them you do. You never know when you won't have another chance to do it.

641 to go...