Not a character trait anyone wants to ascribe to, yet we are surrounded by those who think more of themselves than others. No time is more prevalent than the holidays, from Thanksgiving until New Year's Day. As much as we think we know people, this season of family, friends and giving is prime time for such people. I suppose some of them don't even realize it, but I don't buy that as a reason: more of an excuse.
I grew up with one parent who may have been the most selfish person on earth, at least for the years they had here. I remember Christmases with a shudder, thinking of how many were ruined by the caterwauling and tears when they didn't get the exact gift they wanted (even when what they got was often better!) I kid you not, there were more of those than not. I remember at least two post-gifting suicide attempts. What the hell, who DOES that? The rest of us kind of ignored it, we sat down in the dining room and finished eating while things raged in another room. No matter how old I get, I remember back to those days and think "man, how selfish was that? Sure made me realize how NOT to act.
Other people take the holidays as a sign to make a big list of everything they want, and are disappointed when it isn't filled. I take the opposite tack: I try and buy something highly personal, no matter how small or inexpensive. I think it shows how well you know someone, how much attention you pay to what they do, when you can find just the right something that they didn't even know they wanted and it makes them smile. For the record, if I want socks or underwear, I'll buy them myself. That's kinda personal.
Then you have the people that give the gift of themselves. Time, effort, some good deed. Maybe volunteering at a nursing home, or a church. Helping a friend in need. Taking a name off the Angel Tree at the mall. Not everyone is so altruistic as to be doing it out of the good of their heart, some people need the recognition it brings. SelfLESSness is a more endearing trait, the simple hug from someone that truly needed help should be enough. These are the people that often try to outdo everyone they buy gifts for, going over the top with quantity or expense. As if you can buy love, any easier than you can garner affection by reminding people of the good deeds you've done over the years.
We also have the people who have no reason but to be selfish, yet they drop into our lives and surprise us with small gifts or cards. Usually someone unexpected, like the customer that's grumpy most days, or the vendor you only talk to once a year. Maybe a friend that you forget even had your address, or a coworker that made brownies for you. Random acts of kindness. I like those best.
No one does anything uncharacteristic of who they are. Richard Bach: One.
Lesson One Hundred: Be the one to make another person smile today. Even if all you do is smile first.
630 to go...
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