True

Day 57. True.

Finding inspiration in Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah again today. Your only obligation in any lifetime is to be true to yourself. Being true to anyone else or anything else is not only impossible, but the mark of a fake messiah. 

If you haven't read the book, you are probably having trouble keeping up with the blog. Lots of things I talk about come from ideas I got there. The best way to get a copy is have someone who has read it give you one. It just... works better like that. The magic of the book is that you find something you need to read exactly at the right time, and it works better if someone gives you the book because you need it. Trust me. 


I hate fake people. Which, sadly, means I probably hate more people than I like. I'd like to think I can spot a fake. Even if it takes some time, even if they sneak past me and get into my life. If people can't be honest and truthful, they can't be ALL IN. People who are playing at being someone they're not don't have a place in my life. If you can't trust people around you enough to be your true self, you'll have a sad and miserable life.

I've mentioned before that Dave told me many times that I was the most selfish person he knew. It took me a long time to realize that he was channeling what he felt about himself onto me. I think he realized he took me for granted on a lot of things, but wasn't brave enough to do anything about it. Knowing my vulnerabilities, he could be sure I would accept the blame for whatever went wrong as my own failure, and would work twice as hard to be different. What he didn't know, and I never told him, not in 21 years, was that I was stronger than that. I gave up absorbing guilt decades ago. I am not responsible for anyone else's choices, good or bad. I protected me first. I was true to myself.

Not making promises you can't keep, never holding back your true feelings. Never letting your love for someone stop you from being honest with them. Always remember that you have to be true to you first, and the rest will follow.

Don't fool yourself into thinking you can't do something, can't be something more. Remember: Argue your limitations and soon enough, they're yours. Hold that mirror up close, look straight into it, and acknowledge it. You are a wonderful but very human being.

Lesson Fifty Seven: Are you able to be confident and believe in yourself and your decisions? Do you wander back and forth, debating if you are doing the right things? Think about who you are, and stop doubting it. If you believe in yourself, so will others.

683 to go...