Following up on the "OMG someone said something and I'm offended" theme of the past few days... I'm still pondering the whole "reaction" thing. I guess I must be Hard Hearted Hannah since most things don't bother me to that level. I don't understand how words said by someone else about someone else are supposed to upset me so much that I change my behavior, social interaction and even political philosophy.
Why do we care so much about what others think? It's a big world, lots of different opinions. Unless someone has some sort of power over me (the ability to hire/fire, government or law enforcement, etc.) I don't see how their POV has many repercussions for me. Unless I let them. And why would I do that?
Makes me think about the gay rights movement. It's a smaller portion of the population here in the US, according to the most recent census. Gay marriage is legal in a handful of states, most of which had it enacted legislatively and not via public referendum. A few years back when NC voters said no to it, I had a Facebook friend that thought since they were pro-gay marriage they could bash the voters here over our decision. Yeah, that's how you lose me as a friend. I don't have to like how you vote to be your friend, but you must like how I vote or I'm a stupid redneck hick. Whatever.
Firstly, I never discussed how I voted on Amendment One. I never discussed how I felt about gay marriage at all, that I remember. So for someone who lives in another state to decide I'm an intolerant ass over something they know nothing about and weren't involved in, pretty presumptuous. How can someone make such a leap?
Secondly, this person wasn't affected by my voting either way. They're in a heterosexual relationship with two kids by their partner. My vote here in NC wouldn't matter. Why the outrage? Why care so much about something that doesn't affect you that you alienate others? Speaking as someone who rarely says things that need taken back, I can't see why anyone risks even just an online friendship over a cause they bear no cross for.
If asked, I could have set the record straight on my stance. But I was never asked. Someone just assumed I was part of group they considered intolerant, and under the bus I went. And I went fairly quietly. One comment about not being lumped into a group, and I was done. No ranting from me about how offended I was at being called a bigot, no boo-hooing about being treated poorly. I kept the power, and walked away.
Lesson Nineteen: Are you someone or do you know someone who "rushes to judgement?" Do you try and temper your responses by taking time to think about your reaction? What matters more to you, relationships or your perception of someones stance on an issue? Think about the last time you felt "outraged": was it justified or did you jump to a conclusion?
711 to go...
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