Day 3

So what have we learned so far? We've learned that this is gonna take awhile, a couple years it seems. And that we have control over the people we share our life with and the events that shape us, even though it seems quite the opposite.

Today's lesson is more about those "people" in our lives. You know, the ones you chose to be there? Yeah, them.

I like to think I'm a decent judge of character. You'd think as much crap as had happened to me, I'd be scared to be close to anyone, worried about getting run aground when something bad happened like it always seemed to do. I'm actually quite the opposite. Because, you know, ALL IN.

I don't think we do people any favors when we only accept them halfway into our lives. How can they even begin to be our friends, our family, if they don't have our whole stories? That old saying about "never met a stranger" is true for me: I talk to everyone. I chat up the old ladies in the grocery store. I talk to people waiting in line at the bank. I introduce myself to newcomers at work. I'm sure a lot of them all mutter under their breath about "that crazy woman with the braid" that was talking to them. Know what? I don't care. They're not strangers, just friends I haven't met yet.

I think back on the people that have come and gone from my life. My Pennsylvania Dutch great-grandparents. Man, they were great. Honest people, Pappy who kept beer hid amongst the sarsaparilla in the cellar, Gramma that made sugar cookies the size of her poodle. My NC grandparents. They helped raise me, at a time I needed someone to do that. I hope I didn't get ALL the Jarvis crazy, but I know I have some of it. I also have my Mamaw's cooking and gardening genes. My good friend Sherry in high school. Man, did we have fun hanging out with Mark and Kevin on the weekends, going to see Rocky Horror every Friday and Saturday night for two years plus. My old coworkers from the Broyhill softball team. We had some times, going to Papa's pizza after the games on Tuesday and Thursday nights, and hanging on "the corner" in Newton.

Where are they now? Can't tell you about some of them, a few are returned to the earth from which they came. Do I miss some of them more than others? Not really. Anyone I ever loved, I still love. There are no degrees of love with me. ALL IN, remember?

Lesson Three: Think about those you've had in your life that aren't part of it now. Did they know how you felt about them when you were together? Are you sure? Did you tell them you loved them every day, or did you just figure they knew it? How about the ones that are in your life, are you sure of your footing with them? Things unsaid, grievances unaired, things that can make a wedge of something the size of a pebble. Best thing you can do is chunk that pebble into the pond and get on with loving the one you chose to be in your life. While they're still there.

727 days left.